


expect nothing but a star (named after us)

by mythological



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, M/M, Romance, Slice of Life, Underage Drinking, because theyre college students, endgame is nahyuck, slight angst, slowburn, various side ships ull miss if u blink
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-31
Updated: 2019-12-31
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:01:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 24,230
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21537121
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mythological/pseuds/mythological
Summary: According to everyone around him, college is just one big scam where they drain your bank accounts dry, so Jaemin prepares himself. What he doesn't prepare himself for, however, is to meet his soulmate and then proceed to get his heart broken twice before his freshmen year even ends.College is a scam, and Jaemin wants a refund.(Or, alternatively: Jaemin wants to believe in fate. Donghyuck wants to protect himself.)
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Na Jaemin, minor Huang Renjun/Na Jaemin
Comments: 23
Kudos: 317
Collections: ’00 FIC FEST: ROUND ONE





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dear prompter for #00173:  
> I hope you enjoy this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it!  
> 
> 
> General notes:  
> -the setting is in america but i don't specify where, so prepare for subtle american school system references!  
> -if you haven't read the prompt for this you might get (slight) whiplash from the fic so be warned!!  
> -the name of your soulmate appears on your wrist when you turn 16  
> 

_Lee Donghyuck_.

That was the name etched on Jaemin’s wrist, and every night he traces the characters over and over again, wondering when he’d finally meet his soulmate. Jaemin’s always been a romantic at heart, and not a day goes by where he doesn’t daydream in math class about how exactly he’d meet Donghyuck.

Will they meet like in those cliché dramas, where they spill coffee on each other? Or maybe their eyes will meet when they’re across the road from each other, waiting to cross the street. Maybe their first meeting will be exciting, like the wild stories Jaemin always reads about on the Internet.

The thought of meeting Donghyuck always makes Jaemin jittery with nerves, excited but also nervous for what’s to come. What if Donghyuck doesn’t like him? What if Donghyuck had been expecting something more, and Jaemin doesn’t meet his expectations? What if their personalities clash to the point where they can’t get along with each other at all?

These worries plague him, but deep down, Jaemin knows. He knows that no matter what, he and Donghyuck have been fated to be together for a reason.

If the universe decided that he and Donghyuck would be the perfect match for each other, who is Jaemin to fight the forces of fate?

☾

Move-in day is a blur and before he knows it, Jaemin is waving goodbye to his parents as they set off to drive back home.

Jaehyun looks up at Jaemin’s dorm building and makes a face. “Man, I don’t miss East Dorms at all.”

“I get it. Jeno and I pulled the short stick and got one of the worst ones,” Jaemin says flatly. “You and Mark have told us, like, five million times already, thanks.”

“Don’t be a brat.” Jaehyun ruffles Jaemin’s hair before checking his watch with a frown. “Okay, I’m off. My shift starts soon. I’m probably going to be late, but that’s okay.”

Jaemin squints. “Shouldn’t you care more about being on time? You are going to get fired.”

“Taeil hyung loves me, it’s okay,” Jaehyun reassures him. “He won’t fire me. Probably.”

“Right.” Jaemin is skeptical, but he shrugs. “I’ll see you later then. Have fun at your job.”

“I won’t,” Jaehyun deadpans. “Text me if you need anything, okay? If you sound desperate enough maybe Taeil hyung will let me go so I can help my cute little brother adjust to college.”

He says this as he pinches Jaemin’s cheeks, cooing, and Jaemin grunts, swatting Jaehyun’s hands away. Jaehyun retaliates by pinching his cheeks even harder, and Jaemin yelps, ducking to avoid Jaehyun’s hands.

“Go to work!” Jaemin hisses, rubbing his cheeks with an annoyed pout. “Jeno’s arriving soon to move in. You’re going to be a nuisance.”

“How rude,” Jaehyun sniffs. “Okay, I’m off for real. Doyoung wants to grab dinner sometime before school starts, so text me when you’re free, okay?”

“Okay,” Jaemin agrees. “See you later, hyung.”

“See you, brat.”

☾

All Jaemin had wanted to do was finish moving in, unpack, and watch some anime before the shitstorm that is university would hit him in the face like a tsunami. Unfortunately for him, his roommate and best friend, Jeno, has different plans.

“Mark wants to meet up for lunch,” Jeno says.

“It’s almost 3 PM,” Jaemin responds.

Jeno ignores him. “He wants to show us around too, I think. It’s kind of weird how much school spirit he has here when he couldn’t care less about that stuff when we were in high school. College changes you, I guess.”

“Is this a mandatory outing,” Jaemin asks flatly. “Please let me be a shut-in in peace, Jeno.”

“Nope. No can do.” Jeno throws Jaemin’s shoes at him. “You’re coming with.”

Jaemin sighs. “What are we eating?” he asks, grabbing his wallet.

“I’m not sure.” Jeno scrunches his nose. “Mark said he’d just pick us up here. He’s bringing a friend, too. Says he’s a freshman like us.”

“How does Mark know him, then?” Jaemin raises an eyebrow.

Jeno shrugs. “Their parents know each other, apparently? I don’t know; I’m not 100% sure.” His phone beeps with a new message, and Jeno says, “He’s here.”

He and Jeno wait for Mark outside, kicking at each other’s feet. They hear Mark calling out to them soon enough, waving enthusiastically, while another boy walks next to him, looking disgruntled. 

“Hey guys,” Mark greets when he’s within hearing distance. “This is Donghyuck. Ignore him, he’s a little grumpy because I dragged him across campus.”

“Hey, Donghyuck! My name is Jeno.” Jeno grins widely while Jaemin stands next to him, petrified. A shiver goes down Jaemin’s spine as he watches Donghyuck turn to Jeno. It’s the moment Jaemin has been daydreaming about since he had turned 16. It’s the moment that Jaemin has always wondered about, coming up with scenarios more ridiculous than the last in math class.

It’s the moment that he’s been waiting for since he first learned about the concept of soulmates, and Jaemin thinks that his heart is going to burst out of his chest.

“Nice to meet you, Jeno.” Donghyuck smiles at him before turning to Jaemin. “And you are?”

Jaemin inhales deeply and stares at Donghyuck. “Hi. My name is Jaemin. Na Jaemin.” 

The anxiety hits Jaemin like a truck as he waits for Donghyuck to realize. To recognize who he was.

And he sees it. Jaemin sees the exact moment Donghyuck recognizes his name, because his entire posture goes rigid and his eyes turn cold—but Jaemin doesn’t know why. He frowns a little and steps forward but Donghyuck takes a big step back.

“Hyuck?” Mark frowns at the way Donghyuck’s face changes. “What’s wrong—?”

“I have to go,” says Donghyuck, his voice so cold that Jaemin feels it in his soul; feels his name burning on his arm. “It was nice to meet you guys.”

He turns on his heels and walks away without another look back. Jeno is staring at Jaemin with wide eyes, because he’s just realized that this Donghyuck is _Jaemin’s_ Donghyuck. Jaemin’s soulmate who had just walked off without another word.

Jaemin’s soulmate who had just, without words, rejected him.

☾

The first few weeks of classes go by in a blur and before Jaemin knows it, it’s the end of his third week as a college student and he kind of feels like he’s dying. At this point, Jaemin is pretty sure he spends more time in the science building than he does in his own dorm, and he kind of wants to cry. Only kind of.

“We have to do this for four years? Seriously?” Jeno hisses, staring at his readings with a look of doom on his face. “ _Seriously_?”

“Seriously,” Jaemin repeats solemnly. “Even longer for you, if you’re still set on going to med school.”

Jeno swears under his breath and buries his face into his textbook. Jaemin chuckles and goes back to his own coursework, trying to figure out why his code wasn’t working. The room is silent, with the only sounds being their breathing and the clock ticking. Neither of them mention the elephant in the room regarding Jaemin’s _soulmate._

Thinking about Donghyuck and the rejection brings a certain type of stress that Jaemin really, _really_ doesn’t want to deal with. He has enough to think about, like how he’s going to keep his GPA up to keep his scholarship and whether or not he can make it through the semester without dropping his 8 A.M. class.

Thinking about Donghyuck brings a certain type of hurt that Jaemin doesn’t know how to deal with. That feeling of being worthless, like he isn’t something that deserves to be loved by his soulmate of all people—it hurts. It hurts a lot.

So he stops thinking about it entirely. Well, tries to.

He knows that Jeno won’t pry and only step in when he really feels like Jaemin needs someone to slap him and tell him to get his life together, and Jaemin is grateful to have a friend like Jeno in his life.

“Hey, guys.” Mark walks in, looking worse than both Jaemin and Jeno combined, with dark eye bags that droop down to his cheeks. “What’s up?”

“You look like shit, hyung,” Jeno greets him, sounding way too cheerful for someone who was crying into his readings not five minutes ago. “You good?”

“College was a mistake,” responds Mark, throwing his bag into an empty chair. “I want to drop out.”

“Mood,” Jaemin mumbles, adding a comma and smiling when his code finally works. “Are you serious? I spent the past thirty minutes trying to figure out what was wrong, and I was missing a fucking comma—”

He’s interrupted by Donghyuck, who walks in while frowning at a set of flashcards in his hands. “Mark, why did you tell me to come here instead of the café—oh.”

Donghyuck stares at the trio in the room and Jaemin feels a flare of panic in his chest.

“Donghyuck!” Mark stands up and tries to pull Donghyuck into the seat next to him. “Come sit, I’ll help you study for your chemistry quiz.”

“No,” Donghyuck says flatly, pulling his hand away from Mark so quickly one would think he was burned. “I’m going to the café. Xuxi’s there with Hendery so I’ll study with them. See you later, hyung.”

He leaves after giving Jeno a nod in greeting but doesn’t look Jaemin’s way once. Mark exhales deeply and picks up his bag. He stares at Jaemin’s blank face while chewing on his bottom lip and sighs again.

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes. “Hyuck can be a little… difficult.”

“That’s putting it mildly,” Jeno mutters, still staring at the door in shock.

Mark grimaces. “Yeah. I’m sorry. I’ll talk to him. Are you okay, Jaemin?”

“Yeah,” responds Jaemin, feeling a little numb. “I’m okay.”

Jeno turns his gaze to Jaemin and Mark also stares for another second before shaking his head.

“I’m really sorry, Jaemin.” Mark does really look apologetic to his credit, and Jaemin just shrugs.

“It’s not your fault,” Jaemin says. He feels surprisingly calm despite the fact that Donghyuck had rejected him again, but Jaemin honestly can’t bring himself to feel sad about it. He has other things to worry about, like the next set of code he needs to do before class tomorrow. “It’s fine.”

Mark hesitates before getting up from his seat. “I’m going to see if I can catch up to him and knock some sense into him. I’ll catch you guys later, yeah?”

“Yeah.” Jaemin nods. “See you later, Mark.”

“See you.” Jeno gives Mark a little wave and stares as he leaves, immediately turning to Jaemin when Mark disappears around the corner. “Are you okay?”

Jaemin swallows. Is he? He’s not sure. “I don’t know.”

Jeno purses his lips and moves his stuff so that he can sit next to Jaemin. “It’s okay. Who cares if Donghyuck is supposed to be your soulmate? You’ll meet someone better than him. Not everyone ends up dating their soulmate, anyways. I mean, look at Kun ge! He’s happy with his boyfriend right now, even if they’re not soulmates—”

Jaemin tunes out Jeno’s rambling, though he does lean into his best friend’s comforting touch. It hurts, yeah, to be rejected by Donghyuck, but maybe Jeno is right. The soulmate system isn’t everything, and it’s definitely not perfect. They’ve met their own fair of soulmates who had decided they’re better off as friends, and maybe that’ll be the case for Jaemin, too.

It hurts that his soulmate doesn’t seem to want anything to do with Jaemin, but he’ll live, Jaemin thinks. He’s lived 18 years without Donghyuck. He has other people around him who cares for Jaemin. He won’t die without Donghyuck.

Jaemin thinks—no, he _knows_ —that he’ll be fine. But maybe that’s what hurts him the most.

☾

If Jaemin could go back to the past, he’d slap past-Jaemin for thinking that computer science would be a good thing to major in. It is not, and Jaemin is suffering the consequences of his actions.

Sure, he did well in AP Computer Science. Sure, he got a 5 on the exam. Sure, he enjoys programming. Sure, he wants to work as a game programmer in the future—

Okay, so maybe past-Jaemin did have the right idea when choosing his major, but that does not mean Jaemin is enjoying himself. Not at all. The 3 AM coding spurts leave him falling asleep in his GE classes more often than not, and he _will_ cry if he has to take another math class after this year.

“You’re literally majoring in something that uses math as a base foundation,” Jeno deadpans when Jaemin lets out a dry sob while working through his Calculus problem sets. “Why would you do that to yourself if you hate math so much.”

“Clearly I wasn’t thinking,” Jaemin hisses. He knows that he probably looks and sounds like an angry cat that’s been dragged through the water (shout out to that water fountain that exploded when Jaemin had been trying to refill his water bottle), but he really can’t bring himself to care. “You don’t even like science and you’re trying to go to med school, Lee Jeno.”

“Can you not say my name like that,” Jeno whines. “You sound like my mom. She called me last night because Doyoung hyung told her I’ve been living off of ramen the past week, can you believe it? My cousin is a snake. I’m revoking his ‘favorite cousin’ card.”

Jaemin cackles at Jeno’s misery. “That’s what you get for not trusting my skills around the kitchen. I’ll have you know I make a bomb ass fettuccine alfredo.”

“The last time you cooked something for me, you set something on fire,” Jeno reminds Jaemin. “The fire department came, Jaemin. _The fire department_.”

“That was in middle school, fuck you, Jeno,” Jaemin scowls. “See if I ever cook for you.”

Jeno sniffs and turns away, chin held up high. “I don’t need you to cook for me, Na. I’m perfectly capable of fending for myself.”

“Right, that’s why an angry phone call from Auntie is the only thing that convinced you to get real food today, yeah?”

“Fuck you, Jaemin. I hope you fail your module.”

Jaemin cackles again as Jeno scowls into his textbook. They continue to work, silence filled by the sound of Jaemin typing away at his laptop and Jeno scribbling some notes in the margins of his book every now and then. Hours pass by without them realizing, and it’s only when Jaemin’s stomach lets out a loud grumble that they realize it’s past dinnertime.

“I’m hungry,” Jeno announces, throwing his pen down onto the table and taking off his glasses. “Let’s go get sandwiches. Is your brother working today?”

“No clue.” Jaemin takes out his phone to text Doyoung to ask if he knows if Jaehyun is working. When he gets a text saying that yes, Jaehyun is working, and no, that does not mean he and Jeno can get free sandwiches, he turns to Jeno and beams. “Jaehyun hyung is working. Let’s go bother him so he’ll give us free food.”

“Nice.” Jeno starts packing up and Jaemin quickly follows, unplugging his charger and gently shoving everything into his bag. “Is Doyoung hyung there with him?”

“Why? Are you going to try to fight him?” Jaemin asks as they leave the science building.

“Maybe,” Jeno hums. “If he buys me cake I might reconsider revoking his ‘favorite cousin’ card.”

“Jeno, he’s your only cousin,” Jaemin reminds him gently. “Unless you want to count your weird, conservative cousins who always preach about how “messed up” it is that some people choose not to be with their soulmates romantically.”

“Seeing mom kick them out for that was worth sitting through that dinner,” Jeno muses. “You should’ve seen her face when they said that Doyoung hyung and I are going to hell for thinking that it’s okay to be with someone who isn’t your soulmate. I thought she was going to flip the dining table over. I thought she’d get mad at me when I said ‘fuck the system’ at the dinner table but all she did was pat me on the head after everybody left.”

Jaemin chuckles and walks in when Jeno opens the door for the two of them. They’re greeted by the sight of Jaehyun staring at the counter with wide eyes as coffee drips down from the cup he’s apparently dropped.

“Nice one,” Jaemin calls out, nodding approvingly at his brother when Jaehyun sees them standing at the entrance. “He is beauty, he is grace—”

“—he will spill coffee on the floor,” Jeno finishes. The two of them share a high-five while Jaehyun gives them a flat stare.

“What are you doing here,” he says in lieu of greeting as Jaemin and Jeno walk up to the cash register.

“We got hungry.” Jaemin beams and bats his eyelashes. “Hyung, I’m your favorite brother, right? You should feed your cute little brother. He’s hungry.”

“You’re my only brother,” Jaehyun hisses, but takes their orders anyways. “What do you want to drink?”

Jeno hums, studying the menu. “Caramel macchiato for me, please, hyung,” he says cutely.

“Should you be drinking coffee?” Jaehyun asks with a frown. “It’s almost 9 PM.”

“Just wait until you hear Jaemin’s order,” Jeno retorts, stepping to the side to go bother Doyoung, who narrows his eyes at them from where he’s sitting at the counter, watching Jaehyun work. “Thanks, Jaehyun hyung! Doyoung hyung, I can’t believe you told my mom about my diet, how could you—”

Jaehyun turns to Jaemin, looking like he’s afraid of what Jaemin’s about to order. “And for you?”

“I want a large iced americano with four extra shots—”

“Okay, pause.” Jaehyun holds up a hand and looks like he’s aged ten years in the past 30 seconds. “What.”

Jaemin squints. “Did I stutter.”

“Are you aware,” Jaehyun hisses, “that our large iced americano has four shots already.”

“Yes.” Jaemin blinks, not seeing what the problem is. “And?”

“And you want four _extra_ shots?” Jaehyun looks like he wants to be anywhere but here. “Does mom know about your unhealthy caffeine intake?” he demands, and Jaemin pouts.

“Are you going to snitch?” he accuses his brother with a glare. “I’ll tell her about the time you snuck out when you were a junior to meet up with Doyoung hyung and broke her vase when you were trying to sneak back in but blamed it on our cat—”

“Okay, okay.” Jaehyun punches in Jaemin’s coffee order and nods toward where Jeno has claimed a table for the two of them. “Go sit down. I’ll bring you guys your food in a second.”

“Thanks, hyungie,” Jaemin chirps, skipping towards where Jeno is now being nagged at and coddled by Doyoung. “How did the tables turn on you so quickly?”

Jeno gives him a pleading look, silently asking to be saved.

“Are you two ready for midterms?” Doyoung turns his attention to Jaemin, who flinches and feels a shiver of fear go down his spine.

“Um.” Jaemin blinks in mild panic.

“Can I plead the fifth,” Jeno asks seriously.

Doyoung snorts. “It’s okay. Nobody is ever ready. That’s just how college is. Welcome to your own, personal Hell, kids!”

“You’re going to scare them away,” Jaehyun chides as he comes over to hand Jaemin and Jeno their drinks. “You need to wait until they’re at least sophomores to do that, Doie.”

“My mistake,” Doyoung sniffs. “Jeno, dear, for _why_ are you drinking coffee at 9 PM.”

“That’s what I said,” Jaehyun grumbles. “Your sandwiches are going to be ready soon. Are you guys going to eat them here or take them to-go?”

Jeno turns to Jaemin for an answer, raising his eyebrows. Jaemin hums, attention turning to the door when it jingles. He winces at the small crowd of people walking in loudly and says, “Let’s take them back to the dorm. I want to take a nap after I eat.”

Jaehyun narrows his eyes. “It’s 9 PM,” he reminds them again, as if Jaemin really needs another reminder for his poor life decisions.

“I know what I’m doing, don’t worry, hyung,” Jaemin says, trying to sound reassuring. Who is he trying to reassure, though? Jaemin isn’t really sure. College is nothing but a lie, and Jaemin feels scammed. “I know what I’m doing.”

“Right,” Jaehyun replies after a beat of pause. “Of course you do.” He drops it, though, because Sicheng clears his throat really loudly and gestures to the line that’s accumulated. “Get your life together, Jaemin.”

“That’s bold coming from someone who bit their phone thinking it was a bagel this morning,” Doyoung mumbles under his breath. Jeno promptly chokes on his macchiato and Jaemin struggles trying to keep from spitting his americano out.

Jaehyun shoots Doyoung a betrayed look as he goes up to the counter to help take orders, and Doyoung shrugs when Jeno asks him whose side he’s on.

“I’m not on anyone’s side,” Doyoung replies with a grin that’s borderline evil in Jaemin’s humble opinion. “I’m just here to cause drama and fan the flames.”

“Hyung,” Jaemin says seriously. Doyoung raises an eyebrow at him, silently telling him to continue. “You’re my role model.”

Doyoung smirks. “Good. I better be.”

Jaemin stares at him in awe. Jeno fears for the future. 

☾

After they finish the sandwiches, Jaemin lounges around on his bed, blinking sleepily. The food coma starts to hit him despite the 8-shot iced americano he drank. Jeno stares at him in a mix of wonder and disbelief as he asks him, “How the heck can you sleep after all that caffeine?”

Jaemin shrugs. “Talent.”

It’s silent after that as both of them doze off for a bit. Jaemin is just about to fall asleep for real when Jeno breaks the silence by addressing the giant elephant that’s been in the room since the beginning of the year.

“So,” he starts off slowly. Jaemin tries to blink the drowsiness away as he turns to face his best friend.

“Hmm?” he hums, too tired to actually form words.

“I know I usually wait for you to come to me when you’re ready to talk, but I don’t think that’ll happen any time soon,” Jeno says carefully. “What do you plan on doing about Donghyuck?”

Jaemin wants to say the question surprises him, but the truth is it doesn’t. He’s been waiting for Jeno to bring it up, wondering when his best friend would finally deem Jaemin’s sulking to be enough.

“I don’t know,” Jaemin says honestly, because that’s the truth. He doesn’t know what he’s going to do about Donghyuck’s clear rejection of Jaemin, his soulmate, and the truth is that it hurts a lot to be rejected by the one person who’s supposed to understand you better than anyone else.

It’s been hard pretending to be okay despite being rejected by his other half, but Jaemin knows it’d be foolish to let this one thing define the rest of his life.

Jeno waits for Jaemin to finish mulling over his thoughts patiently.

“It’s okay if he doesn’t want me like… that,” Jaemin says. “It’s his choice too. I want to be his friend, at the very least. I don’t care if he doesn’t want me romantically. That’s fine. But I want to be a part of his life somehow, no matter how small, if he’ll let me.”

“He would be stupid to not let you into his life,” Jeno says quietly.

Jaemin smiles weakly. “I’m sure he has his reasons. I guess all I can do now is hope he’ll let me be his friend, at least.”

“And if he doesn’t, that’s okay,” Jeno declares. “You still have me, Mark, Chenle, Jisung, Jaehyun hyung, Doyoung hyung, Sicheng ge—”

“Okay,” Jaemin interrupts with a laugh. “I got it. Thanks, Jeno.”

“Of course.” Jeno beams. “You’re my best friend.”

Jaemin smiles back, but it quickly drops as Jaemin loses confidence. “Do you really think he’ll let me be his friend?” he asks so quietly that Jeno has to strain his ears to hear.

“Why wouldn’t he?” Jeno fires back. Jaemin wishes he could have the same amount of confidence as Jeno does about Jaemin’s situation. “He’d be lucky to have you as a friend, Jaemin. I’m not just saying that because I’m your bestest friend forever that nobody can replace. If anyone can convince someone like Donghyuck to be their friend, it’s you.”

“You’re biased,” Jaemin sniffs. He’s not tearing up. If anyone asks, Jaemin will say he’s sweating from his eyes. “You’re so biased, Jeno.”

“I know.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes, flopping back onto his bed. He can feel the drowsiness coming again now that their conversation is over, and he soon hears Jeno’s breathing start to even out.

A glance at the digital clock on his desk tells Jaemin that it’s almost 10 PM. It’s a horrible time for them to be napping, but Jaemin supposes that’s just how college is sometimes. He has an essay to finish writing for his history class as well as the rest of his problem sets for Calculus to finish, but hey! Sometimes you just have to say ‘fuck it’ and take a nap because life.

Before he drifts off to sleep, Jaemin allows himself to feel a tiny sliver of hope.

Maybe Jeno is right. Maybe he _can_ convince Donghyuck that they can be friends, and that that’s all they have to be if Donghyuck chooses.

 _I can do this_ , Jaemin thinks to himself sleepily, finally letting himself drift off to dreamland. He can do this.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which sometimes, you don't know what you have until you lose it.

Or not, Jaemin thinks bitterly as Donghyuck coldly rejects his greeting. They’re all at the West Dining Hall, and Donghyuck had been forced to “sit and play nice” by Mark.

The silence that ensues is tense and _cold_ , for lack of a better word. Jeno and Mark exchange panicked glances as Donghyuck glares resolutely at his food. Jaemin stares at Donghyuck, silently daring the other boy, his _soulmate_ , to look up.

When he doesn’t, Jaemin decides, fine. If this is what Donghyuck wants, then Jaemin supposes then that’s what he’ll give him.

“Okay, that’s fine.” Jaemin knows he doesn’t quite manage to keep the bitter anger out of his voice when Jeno looks up at him in alarm. “I’ll catch you guys later. I’m going to go hit up my brother.”

He doesn’t give any of them a chance to respond as he gets up from his seat loudly.

“Jaemin, wait—” Mark tries to grab his arm but Jaemin shakes him off.

“I’ll see you guys later,” he says again and leaves the dining hall, letting the door slam shut behind him.

He’s angry, yeah. There’s no doubt about that. But the anger doesn’t last any longer than it takes for Jaemin to walk to the café, and soon enough he feels himself feeling empty instead.

Jaehyun isn’t working today; Jaemin is aware of this as he enters the café. But he figures if he can’t eat a real dinner with his friends, he might as well get some coffee and get some work done. The café Wi-Fi is faster than the Wi-Fi at his dorm, anyways, and he won’t be tempted to do his work on his bed where he’ll inevitably fall asleep.

“Can I get a cream cheese bagel and a large iced-americano with four extra shots of espresso?” Jaemin orders tiredly. Sicheng, who is working that day, raises an eyebrow at Jaemin’s face.

“Are you okay?” he asks, punching in Jaemin’s order. Jaemin notices the employee discount Sicheng applies, and he gives the elder a grateful smile.

“Long week,” Jaemin says.

Sicheng stares at him. “Right.”

Jaemin sighs. “Long semester,” he amends, and Sicheng offers him a faint smirk.

“I feel that. Are you going to eat here?” He gives Jaemin a number stand when the younger nods. “Someone will bring your order over when it’s ready. Are you really okay, though?”

“I’m fine,” Jaemin reassures him. “Just tired, that’s all.”

Sicheng doesn’t look like he believes him, but he drops it and let’s Jaemin escape. He scurries away quickly before Sicheng can change his mind and claims a table that’s tucked away at the corner.

He manages to type exactly one sentence for his essay for English when someone picks up the number stand and places his order on the table.

“Too much caffeine is bad for you, you know,” the worker says, nodding at Jaemin’s americano. “Your blood pressure will go up.”

Jaemin blinks and looks up. “I know.”

“And you’re still choosing to drink eight shots of espresso willingly?” Now the worker looks startled. “Why would you do that to yourself?”

“College,” Jaemin deadpans and the worker pauses and nods in understanding.

“Understandable.” The worker grins. “Okay, well enjoy your bagel and drink of death. Hope you don’t die from like, a heart attack or something.” He gives a little bow and walks away, leaving Jaemin to stare after him in interest.

“Ge,” Jaemin calls for Sicheng when the elder walks past his table later. “Who’s the worker that looks like an elf?”

Sicheng gives him a weird look. “What?”

“One of your coworkers,” Jaemin hisses, glancing at the counter to make sure elf-boy isn’t watching them. “What’s his name?”

“What?” Sicheng turns towards the counter and makes a noise of realization. “Oh, Renjun? Why?” Sicheng narrows his eyes at him. “You’re not allowed to talk to him. He’s my baby and you’ve already been corrupted by Doyoung hyung. I won’t let my child be corrupted by you evil doers.”

“What does that even _mean_?” Jaemin protests, feeling wronged. “I’m innocent!”

Sicheng glares, though there’s no malice behind it. “It’s still a no from me.”

Jaemin scowls. “Fine. I was just curious, anyways.”

“I don’t believe you.” Sicheng gives him a suspicious look. “Don’t you dare corrupt my child.”

“You’re not his dad.” Jaemin pouts. “But fine. I won’t talk to him, jeez.”

Sicheng rolls his eyes and slaps a handful of napkins onto Jaemin’s table before sauntering away. He makes a big show of throwing an arm around Renjun’s shoulders while glaring at Jaemin, who sighs at how dumb all the hyungs around him seem to be.

“I was just curious,” Jaemin mumbles to himself and sniffs. He’s innocent, and Sicheng is a bully.

The unfinished essay that sits in front of him screams at Jaemin, so he sighs, feeling resigned and starts working again. Jaemin _really_ can’t bring himself to care about the impact Shakespeare has had on literature, and he finds himself wondering if it’d be morally okay to type just that for the rest of his essay.

“You’re making faces to yourself,” elf-boy, _Renjun_ , informs him as he approaches Jaemin’s table with a small plate in hand. He slides over the plate that has a fruit tart on it, and smiles. “I was going to give you a slice of strawberry cheesecake, but Sicheng ge said you can’t have dairy? He also said you don’t like artificial strawberry flavors, so…”

Jaemin stares at the fruit tart, looking at it as if it’s some math problem that he needs to solve. “What?”

Renjun sighs. “It’s a fruit tart. You look like you’re struggling, so I figured you could use something sweet.”

“Oh.” Jaemin is now staring at Renjun. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” Renjun stares back. “So, are you going to tell me your name? Because when I asked Sicheng ge for it he just called you the devil child.”

Jaemin makes an offended noise. “I am _not_ a devil child. Sicheng ge is a liar and I’m innocent.”

“I believe you.” Renjun nods seriously, his lips quirking up to form a grin. “So, your name?”

“My name is Jaemin,” he introduces himself. “Nice to meet you, Sicheng ge’s child.”

“I’m not his child.” Renjun makes a face. “But nice to meet you too, I guess. Why does Sicheng ge call you the devil child?”

Jaemin pouts. “He thinks I’ve been corrupted by Doyoung hyung. But don’t listen to him. I’m an angel.”

“You wouldn’t be saying that if you were really an angel,” Renjun teases. Jaemin blinks, because is Renjun _flirting_ with him? “Anyways, I have to get back to work. I just came to give you the fruit tart. Have fun with whatever you’re doing.”

He places a slip of paper next to the fruit tart and gives Jaemin one last smile before walking away. Jaemin stares at him with wide eyes when he notices the string of numbers that’s scrawled on the paper. When he turns to look at the counter, he sees Sicheng glowering at him as Renjun rolls his eyes and squishes the elder’s cheek, forcing him to look away.

Jaemin stares at the slip of paper for another second before folding it and putting it into his pencil case. He’ll deal with that later. Preferably when he’s with Jeno so that he can hopefully offer some sort of advice.

(Not that Jaemin is expecting too much, since he knows that both he and Jeno are completely useless when it comes to anything dealing with feelings, but he figured two heads are better than one. Besides, hasn’t math taught him that two negatives make a positive?

 _No,_ the rational part of his brain hisses, _that’s not how it works_ , but Jaemin ignores his last remaining braincell that’s screaming at him to listen for once. He’s never listened to it before, and Jaemin doesn’t think this time will be any different.)

☾

Jaemin wonders if it’s normal to miss someone you never had in the first place. The name on Jaemin’s wrist haunts him every night when he sees it as he’s washing up, and it comes to a point where he wishes it would just rub right off so that Jaemin never has to see it again.

He catches a glimpse of the name on Mark’s wrist. _Wong Yukhei_. Mark is lucky, Jaemin thinks, to have met somebody who loves him.

He catches a glimpse of Jeno’s soulmate’s name. _Liu YangYang._ Jaemin can only hope that Jeno’s soulmate will be able to love him the way Jeno deserves to be loved.

It’s an ugly feeling, to feel so bitter about something that should bring _happiness_. Jaemin hates it. Hates himself for feeling this way. Hates that he _has_ to feel this way.

If it’s destiny that Jaemin should feel this way—if it’s _fate_ that Jaemin should feel this way, then Jaemin will stand in the face of fate and spit in its face to let it know that Jaemin is done being its dog.

☾

“So,” Jaehyun starts as he slurps his ramen. “Why haven’t you texted Renjun yet? Or stopped by the café? Sicheng looks like he’s going to murder you in cold blood every time Renjun looks at his phone sadly.”

Jaemin flinches because Sicheng is kind of scary when he’s mad. “Um.”

“Great start,” Jeno compliments and gives a mocking clap.

“You’re doing amazing, sweetie,” Doyoung adds sarcastically.

Jaemin hisses, “Stop ganging up on me. This is bullying. Did you know that bullying is considered _illegal_ here? I’ll report you all to the police.”

Doyoung snorts and gives Jaehyun a pointed look. “Control your brother and tell him to man up and text Renjun, please. Jaemin might be my son but so is Renjun.”

“Yeah,” agrees Jeno before scrunching his nose. “Not the part about you being my son. That’s gross. Same with Renjun. I don’t even know the guy. But you should definitely text him. What’s stopping you?”

Jaemin squints and it takes Jeno a second to understand. He makes an ‘are you serious right now’ face at him and Jaemin shrugs.

“I’m a romantic,” Jaemin says weakly. “What can I say?”

Jaehyun and Doyoung immediately understand what he’s referring to and sighs heavily.

“You better say something to him first because if _I_ do it, I’m going to hurt his feelings,” Doyoung says to Jaehyun in the flattest tone Jaemin has ever heard. “Seriously.”

“Jaemin,” Jaehyun sighs. “Are you hung up on your dick of a soulmate who rejected you not once, but multiple times this semester?”

“Not really,” Jaemin admits. “He doesn’t want me. That’s fine with me. I just don’t know if I’m ready to move on yet, though? And Renjun seems like a nice guy, but what if he meets his soulmate while he’s with me and decides to leave me behind?”

Jeno mulls over Jaemin’s words thoughtfully. “You’re not wrong,” he agrees. “But at the same time, you don’t know Renjun’s story either. Who knows, maybe he’s in the same boat as you. It’s not _that_ uncommon for soulmates to reject each other, despite what the media wants you to believe. But you won’t know until you text him and get to know him.”

He gives Jaemin a pointed look at that, and Jaemin grimaces. “Okay, that’s fair.”

“I know you’re scared of getting hurt,” Jaehyun says quietly, “but I hope you won’t let that get in the way of you being happy. That’s what we want for you, you know, more than anything else.”

Jaemin chews on his bottom lip. “I know. I’ll text him when I’m ready. I hope.”

“We’re not asking you to get married here,” Doyoung reminds him gently. “We just want you to branch out, maybe. If anything, Renjun’s a good kid. You’ll probably get along thanks to both of your general deposition to get into as much trouble as you possibly can.”

“Hey.” Jeno pouts at that. “I’m a good kid.”

“Of course you are,” Jaehyun and Doyoung chorus tiredly. Jeno’s pout deepens.

“Anyways,” Doyoung continues. “Just be his friend. He’s not asking for anything more, and no one’s expecting anything from you. Don’t be scared of subverting any expectations, because we don’t have any for you. We just want you to be happy, Jaemin.”

“Thanks, Doyoung hyung.” Jaemin smiles gratefully.

“I can’t believe he said _subverting any expectations_ in a real life verbal conversation,” Jeno hisses to Jaehyun.

Jaehyun hisses back, “Yeah, me too.”

“I’m going to set both of you on fire,” Doyoung says calmly, sipping on his water. “Jaemin, dear, will you help me hide the bodies?”

“Of course.” Jaemin nods. “I’ll even help you make it look like an accident so that they can’t track it back to either of us.”

“Wonderful.” Doyoung gives him a smirk while Jaehyun and Jeno pale considerably. Jaemin beams and Doyoung pats him on the head, offering him a bite of his katsudon.

Jeno gives Jaehyun a fearful look. “Hyung, they’re demons.”

“I know, Jeno,” Jaehyun says gravely. “I know.”

Jaemin and Doyoung ignore the two of them and continue eating, acting like nothing has happened.

☾

It’s a Tuesday afternoon when Jaemin decides to finally text Renjun. He spends the next fifteen minutes after class trying to figure out what the hell to send before settling for a simple “what’s up lol”. Doyoung would be proud of him.

**Elf Boy** [5:21pm]: who is this

 **Jaemin** [5:21pm]: guess

 **Elf Boy** [5:22pm]: ok  
 **Elf Boy** [5:22pm]: whoever u are u can catch this block 💋✨

 **Jaemin** [5:23pm]: WAIT  
 **Jaemin** [5:23pm]: it’s jaemin (๑°⌓°๑)

 **Elf Boy** [5:25pm]: oh  
 **Elf Boy** [5:25pm]: took u long enough lmao  
 **Elf Boy** [5:25pm]: wyd rn?

 **Jaemin** [5:26pm]: yeah sorry about that  
 **Jaemin** [5:26pm]: just finished class  
 **Jaemin** [5:26pm]: why?

 **Elf Boy** [5:26pm]: cool me too  
 **Elf Boy** [5:26pm]: im hungry

 **Jaemin** [5:27pm]: uh… ok?

 **Elf Boy** [5:27pm]: …

 **Jaemin** [5:29pm]: wait

 **Elf Boy** [5:29pm]: uh huh

 **Jaemin** [5:30pm]: oh

 **Elf Boy** [5:33pm]: ok this is great and ur confusion is cute and all but i rly am hungry so r u down to get some dinner w me or nah

 **Jaemin** [5:34pm]: sdlkfsl sry sry im down  
 **Jaemin** [5:34pm]: craving anything?

 **Elf Boy** [5:34pm]: chipotle :)

 **Jaemin** [5:35pm]: ok!  
 **Jaemin** [5:35pm]: meet u at the one near campus?

 **Elf Boy** [5:35pm]: yassssss see u soon

 **Jaemin** [5:36pm]: ೭੧(❛▿❛✿)੭೨

Jaemin stares at their text thread, deciding that maybe. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. He hesitates before adding a green heart to Renjun’s name before pocketing his phone, heading out of the building to meet Renjun at Chipotle.

 _Maybe he can do this, after all_ , Jaemin thinks to himself optimistically. 

☾

“What kind of privilege do you have to be to get guac for _free_ ,” Jaemin asks in awe as he stares at Renjun, who just shrugs.

“The cute kind,” he says with a grin. “I’m kidding. Our cashier was Yuta hyung. He’s Sicheng ge’s soulmate, so he always gives me a discount when I come here. Check your receipt. He probably gave you one too since you’re here with me.”

This Yuta hyung has indeed given Jaemin a discount as well, and he silently despairs for not getting guac. “Wow. I guess I’ll have to make sure to bring you when I want Chipotle.”

“Yeah, you should,” Renjun agrees. He tilts his head innocently, and asks, “So like, does that mean you’re going to ask me out on Chipotle dates from now on, then?”

Jaemin promptly chokes on his soda and coughs, blindly reaching out for the napkins. Renjun cackles at Jaemin’s misery but hands him the napkins, nonetheless, watching with a satisfied beam as Jaemin cleans up.

“That was evil,” Jaemin hisses. “Does Sicheng ge know you’re actually a devil in disguise?”

“He only sees and hears what he wants to, which means he’ll only see me for the angel that I am.” Renjun bats his eyelashes and Jaemin narrows his eyes at him.

“I’m onto you,” he declares. “I’ll reveal your true self to Sicheng ge so that he stops glaring at me whenever he sees me on campus.”

Renjun throws his head back and laughs loudly at that, and Jaemin beams. They dig into their food soon after. Jaemin has never been a big talker while eating, always opting to focus on his food instead, and he’s glad that Renjun is apparently the same. It’s only when they’re halfway done with their meal that Renjun breaks the silence between them.

“So, Jaemin.” He takes a sip of his water and stares at Jaemin curiously. “What’s your major? I’ll admit I saw what you were working on that day at the café, but you looked too miserable while writing that Shakespeare essay to be an English major.”

“You’re right,” grimaces Jaemin. “That class is the bane of my existence. I’m a computer science major.”

Renjun nods. “That makes sense. How’d the essay go?”

“Well, I turned it in on time.” Jaemin shrugs. “That’s a win in my book, to be honest.”

“Mood,” Renjun snorts. “Good job.”

“Thanks!” Jaemin grins sarcastically. “What about you? What’s your major?”

“English,” Renjun answers, and grins widely at the way Jaemin’s face falls. “What? You should be happy. This just means you now have one more resource for when you’re stuck on your assignments.”

Jaemin blinks as the realization hits him. “Oh, shit. You’re right.”

Renjun laughs at the way Jaemin lights up at the prospect of having someone to help him with his English assignments. The rest of the dinner goes by with them (read: Jaemin) making dumb jokes and making small talk. When Jaemin drops Renjun off at the humanities building, he heads back to his dorm feeling warm. It’s been a while since he’s felt like this, and Jaemin wonders if this is the happiness that his brother and Jeno were talking about.

☾

Friendship with Renjun comes almost as easily as it had been with Jeno. The two of them click easily, and soon enough Jaemin finds himself spending more time with Renjun with each passing day. He can’t remember the last time they went without messaging each other at least once, and even Jeno raises an eyebrow when Jaemin stumbles in late at night after a late-night cafe “outing” with Renjun.

“Back from your date so soon?” Jeno asks casually. Jaemin blinks from where he’s been putting his bag down.

“What date?” he asks a little dumbly.

Jeno stares at him, trying to figure out if Jaemin is being serious or if he’s just playing dumb. “Your date with Renjun,” he says slowly.

“It wasn’t a date,” Jaemin says automatically. “We were just hanging out.”

“Right,” Jeno responds. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

“We’re the same age,” Jaemin hisses.

Jeno waves his comment away. “Whatever. So, it wasn’t a date then?”

“No.”

“Does Renjun know that it wasn’t a date?” Jeno levels him with a stare, and Jaemin hesitates this time before answering.

“Yes?”

“You don’t sound sure,” Jeno says. He turns back to the essay he’s been working on. “You should clear it up with him. Misunderstandings are easy to occur, after all.”

Later that night, Jaemin mulls over Jeno’s words as he gets ready for bed. He thinks back to the joke Renjun had made the first time they hung out at Chipotle, and wonders if there had been any truth in the joke.

A glance at the clock tells Jaemin that it’s almost midnight, meaning Renjun is asleep already, because against all odds, Renjun is an oddity that sleeps early and wakes up early. _Curse these morning people_ , Jaemin thinks.

Tomorrow, Jaemin tells himself. Tomorrow, he’d clear the air with Renjun, and make sure there are no misunderstandings between them.

More than anything else, Jaemin doesn’t want to give himself any false hope about what they could be.

☾

Jaemin stares at Renjun, who’s focused on the book in front of him. His eyebrows are furrowed, and he looks so focused that Jaemin can’t bring himself to interrupt him. It’s kind of cute, Jaemin thinks. Renjun is cute.

“Renjun,” Jaemin says, finally breaking the silence. Renjun hums in reply but doesn’t look up from his book. “Is this a date?”

He looks up at that, and blinks at Jaemin. “What?”

“Is this a date?” Jaemin repeats. He taps his pen on the table, feeling the anxiety crawling up as the seconds tick by.

“Um.” Renjun looks stunned. “Well, I’m here to study, I don’t know about you.”

“Oh.” Before Jaemin can look too disappointed, however, Renjun continues.

“I did consider everything else a date, though?” Renjun squints at Jaemin. “Did you not…?”

There’s a feeling of relief that washes over Jaemin and he slumps into his chair. He’s not sure why he feels so relieved that Renjun thought they were going on dates, but he supposes he can figure that out later. “Okay. So, _this_ isn’t a date, but everything else was?”

“Were they not?” Renjun is careful to ask.

Jaemin hesitates. “I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” Renjun gives him a smile—one that’s softer than usual. “Take your time.”

“Thanks,” Jaemin says, giving Renjun a smile of his own, albeit a little hesitant.

Renjun shrugs. “There’s nothing to thank me for. It’s called being a decent human. It really is fine if you don’t like me that way, you know. I won’t end our friendship because of that.”

Jaemin’s smile turns more genuine at that. “The world doesn’t deserve you, Huang Renjun.”

“You’re right.” Renjun smirks and gives Jaemin a haughty look. “I’m a blessing to mankind. Remember that, Na Jaemin.”

Jaemin laughs loudly, earning a _shush!_ from some of the students around them. Renjun ducks his face into his book to stifle his laughter, and Jaemin tries his best to muffle his own. They end up having to leave the library before the librarian can kick them out, and Renjun scolds Jaemin for interrupting his study time. The laughter doesn’t stop, however, even as the pair enter the café to resume their study session. Jaehyun eyes the two of them and gives Jaemin a knowing look when they make eye contact. Jaemin’s cheeks burn as he looks away, pointedly ignoring his brother for the rest of the time he and Renjun are there.

Sicheng doesn’t stop glaring at Jaemin but slinks away with a pout when Renjun scolds him for spying on them for the third time, muttering something about “devil children corrupting his precious son.” Neither of them pay too much attention to Sicheng, too focused on not getting behind their respective readings and playing an intense game of footsie under the table.

He can live like this, Jaemin thinks, as he stares at Renjun’s focused expression with a fond smile. Who needs soulmates, when he has Renjun now?

☾

Well.

Jaemin is walking Renjun to class when he sees it. He isn’t surprised when he sees Donghyuck; it’s not like their campus is a very big one, and Jaemin’s honestly more surprised at how he hasn’t run into Donghyuck until now.

There’s a hollow feeling in Jaemin’s chest when he sees Donghyuck smiling and laughing with his friends. It’s not an expression he’s ever seen on the other boy and Jaemin wonders what it would take for _him_ to be able to put such a bright smile on Donghyuck’s face.

Renjun takes his hand, peering up at him curiously. “Is something wrong?”

Jaemin blinks, smiling down at Renjun. “No, it’s nothing. I just blanked out for a second. What were you saying?”

Renjun seems to accept that and continues to where he left off, while Jaemin glances to where Donghyuck is one last time. He finds that Donghyuck is already looking at him, and Jaemin quickly averts his eyes.

It doesn’t matter anymore, Jaemin tells himself. It doesn’t matter what Donghyuck does or who he laughs with.

Donghyuck has made his choice, and it’s time Jaemin makes his.

☾

Jaemin can’t hide the surprise on his face when he runs into Donghyuck. Neither of them really run in the same circle of friends outside of Mark, and from what he’s heard, Donghyuck is a music major, so he has no business in the science building.

“Oh.” Not even Donghyuck can’t keep the surprise out of his voice when the two of them quite literally collide into each other.

“Sorry.” Jaemin half-heartedly apologizes and steps to the side. The hollow feeling in his chest is back at the reminder that his soulmate doesn’t want him, but Jaemin can’t bring himself to focus on that. He’s late for chemistry _again_ , and he’s sick of the glares his professor gives him whenever he walks in five minutes late.

“Hey, wait.” Donghyuck reaches out and grabs onto Jaemin’s wrist before he can get too far. It’s not like Donghyuck grabbed onto him very hard, but Jaemin flinches nonetheless at the feeling of electricity that travels up his arm, and he finds himself unable to move from his spot. “Can we, uh, talk?” Donghyuck asks, sounding anxious.

Jaemin stares at him for a second before shaking off Donghyuck’s hand, telling himself to _get a fucking grip, Na Jaemin_. 

“No. I’m late for lecture.” 

He’s not sure why he gives Donghyuck a reason why he can’t talk right now, but he figures he doesn’t have to stoop to Donghyuck’s level and give him the cold shoulder completely.

“Oh.” Donghyuck’s voice is impossibly small and devoid of the coldness that Jaemin is used to. He steps back, looking down at the ground. “Maybe next time, then.”

“Yeah,” Jaemin says, trying to conceal his bewilderment. “Uh, I have to go.”

“Right,” Donghyuck says, and Jaemin stares at him for another second before turning around and hurrying to the lecture hall. He is now fifteen minutes late for lecture, and Jaemin can only hope that either Chaeyeon or Sanha will be willing to share their notes for the parts that Jaemin has missed.

☾

“So, a little birdie told me something interesting,” says Jeno, sliding into the seat across from Jaemin.

“Guess who I met?” Jaemin leans in, causing Jeno to lean back in surprise. “I met Yangyang.”

Jeno’s mouth falls open a little and he blinks at Jaemin. “Where? Wait, don’t change the topic.”

“I’m in his group for a project in class,” Jaemin tells him. “He’s a computer science major, too.”

“Hey,” Jeno protests weakly at being ignored. Jaemin ignores him.

“Do you want to meet him?” he asks, staring at his best friend and tilting his head. “I haven’t told him that I know you, yet, though. I can set up a time for you guys if you want.”

Jeno considers it but shakes his head. “No, I want to meet him on my own. If he’s really my soulmate, I’ll meet him soon. Hopefully.”

Jaemin smiles and shrugs. He knew that Jeno would answer like that. “Okay. Let me know if you change your mind,” he says, although he knows Jeno won’t. He’s a big sap like that, Jaemin chuckles to himself.

“I will,” Jeno tells him. “So, back to what I was saying.”

“Oh, right.” Jaemin forgot that Jeno had been meaning to tell him something. “What is it?”

“Mark told me that Donghyuck regrets acting like a dick to you,” Jeno says, ignoring Jaemin’s mock gasp at the crude language. “He said that Donghyuck wants to start over.”

“Oh.” Jaemin blinks. He’d be lying if he said he hadn’t expected that, to be honest. Ever since that day he ran into Donghyuck at the science building, he’s been seeing his soulmate more and more around campus. It’s almost as if Donghyuck is trying to figure out a way to talk to Jaemin without Jaemin running off again, and Jaemin’s kind of enjoying watching Donghyuck struggle.

“Yeah.” Jeno stares at Jaemin. “What are you thinking?”

Jaemin shrugs. “If he wants to talk, I’m sure Mark knows where to find me. He can tell Donghyuck to come to me, because I won’t be going to him.”

Jeno huffs out a laugh at that. “I expected nothing less from you. I’ll be sure to let Mark know. Anyways, did you start studying for the chem final yet because holy shit Jaemin I am so screwed—”

Jaemin listens with fondness mixed with exasperation as Jeno continues to cry over chemistry. The two of them already know that Jeno is some sort of chemistry god and will probably get an A, but he lets his best friend continue to cry over the study guide their professor had miraculously blessed them with.

It doesn’t fully hit Jaemin until later that week when he’s sitting in English Lit that Donghyuck wants to start over.

Start over as what, Jaemin’s not sure.

But he wonders what made Donghyuck change his mind, and wonders if this is what he wants. Jaemin’s started to move on, if he was being honest, and Renjun makes him happy. Sure, they aren’t fated to be with each other, but clearly fate’s a funny little bitch and Jaemin can’t wonder if there really is a huge flaw in the entire system.

Why had fate put Jaemin and Donghyuck together, when it seems like he and Renjun are more compatible with each other?


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which even good things come to an end eventually.

If Jaemin is surprised by the sudden increase in Donghyuck’s presence in his life this semester, he doesn’t show it.

“Oh, wow.” Jeno blinks in surprise when they find Donghyuck sitting with Mark at the dining hall. “Did Mark not tell him that he’s getting dinner with us?”

“Who knows.” Jaemin shrugs, suddenly feeling less hungry.

Jeno studies Jaemin for a second and asks, “Do you want to go eat somewhere else? We can just text Mark.”

Jaemin sucks in a breath and runs his tongue over his teeth. “No, it’s fine. If he wants to leave, then he can leave. If he wants to stay, he can stay. He said he wanted to start over, didn’t he?”

“According to Mark, yeah.” Jeno shrugs. “Guess we’re about to find out if that’s really true.”

Apprehension fills Jaemin as they walk towards Mark. His grip on his plate tightens the closer they get, and when Donghyuck looks up and looks at Jaemin in the eye, he feels his jaw clench. He’s not sure where the sudden burst of anger comes from, but Jaemin forces it down in favor of appearing civil for the sake of his friends. There is no fire in Donghyuck’s eyes, though, unlike the other times Jaemin’s seen the other. Jaemin isn’t sure what to think.

“Hey, guys,” greets Mark. There’s an awkward smile on his face, almost as if he’s trying to seem civil like Jaemin is. “Is it okay if Donghyuck joins us today?”

The question is directed towards Jaemin and Jeno, but his eyes are on Donghyuck, causing the other boy to fidget uncomfortably. Something in Mark’s expression is clearly telling Donghyuck to behave, so Jaemin and Jeno just shrug.

“Fine with me,” Jeno says.

Jaemin stares at Donghyuck, who avoids his gaze. “I don’t really care.”

It’s awkward, to say the least, and Jaemin pokes at his food while Mark and Jeno struggle to keep the conversation going. Donghyuck sits there eating his dinner quietly, like Jaemin, not contributing to the conversation outside of a hum here and there when questions are directed to him.

“So, uh.” Mark looks like he’d rather be anywhere than here, and Jaemin can’t blame him. “Are you guys going to the KSA party tomorrow?”

Jeno makes a face. “I have a project due on Tuesday.”

“So, you’re not going?”

“I didn’t say that.” Jeno grins.

Mark snorts and turns to Jaemin. “What about you, Jaem?”

“Yeah, I’m going,” Jaemin says, shrugging nonchalantly. “Renjun wants to celebrate finishing his papers, so.”

Jeno bites his lips, peeking through his lashes to gauge Donghyuck’s reaction. Mark looks like he regrets asking the question and doesn’t bother hiding the fact that he’s looking to see how Donghyuck will react. Jaemin keeps his gaze firmly on his plate. There is no reason he should be scared—or guilty.

“Oh.” Mark looks like he doesn’t know what to say. “That’s… cool.”

It takes every ounce of Jaemin’s strength not to snort at Mark’s tone. Jeno also looks like he’s trying not to laugh and Mark notices, making a face at both of them. Donghyuck doesn’t look up from his plate during the entire exchange, and something in Jaemin’s chest squeezes at that.

☾

The party is loud, causing Jaemin to wince. Renjun tightens the grip he has on Jaemin’s arm, leading him to the kitchen where the drinks are. They both grab a cup with something in it that’s bright blue, and the rational side of Jaemin’s brain tells him that it would be in his best interest not to drink it.

“This tastes like juice,” Renjun declares after downing the entire cup in one go. Jaemin is scared. “How bad do you think the hangover will be tomorrow if I get drunk off of this?”

Jaemin feels his face contort in pain. “Please don’t do that.”

Renjun stares at him, then back down at his cup, then back up at Jaemin again. Without breaking eye contact, he plucks Jaemin’s cup out of his hands and downs the entire thing. “I do what I want.”

“Of course you do, dear,” Jaemin says with a sigh.

Renjun makes a face at that. “Don’t call me dear.”

“What do you prefer, then?” Jaemin asks teasingly, wrapping an arm around Renjun’s waist now that his hand is free. “Sweetheart? Babe? Baby?” He feels Renjun flinch at the last one and laughs loudly. “Oh, I see.”

“Perish,” Renjun hisses as they leave the kitchen and try to find some place they can chill before joining the rest of the masses. “I hope you perish, Na Jaemin.”

Jaemin coos. “Aw, how adorable, Renjun. Ouch, okay, okay, wait, I’ll stop teasing stop hitting me, Renjun please—”

Renjun stops with a pout that Jaemin wants to kiss away, and when he realizes that he can do just that, he does. When Jaemin pulls away with a grin, he finds Renjun’s cheeks flushed pink and eyes wide in surprise, and Jaemin’s jaw drops a little at the expression on Renjun’s face.

“Are you… are you _blushing_?” Jaemin asks slight in awe. He’s never seen Renjun look so surprised or rendered speechless. “Wow, did I just make _the_ Huang Renjun blush?”

“Shut up, Na. Shut up.” Renjun scowls. “I hate you, and I hope you wake up with the worst hangover tomorrow morning.”

Jaemin gasps dramatically. “How can that happen to me when _you’re_ the one drinking all that jungle juice? Is this how you should talk to someone who’s going to have to take care of you when you’re miserable tomorrow?”

“Wow, my hero,” Renjun says flatly. “How did your discussion for _the Stranger_ go, by the way?”

“Really,” Jaemin groans and pulls away from Renjun. “We’re at a party, you steal my drink, I kiss you, and you want to ask me about school?”

Renjun laughs that infuriatingly cute laugh of his and Jaemin immediately breaks out into a smile. “My bad, my bad,” Renjun says, grinning up at Jaemin. “Shall I apologize in advance for the absolute menace I will be when I’m drunk?”

Jaemin stares. “Wait, what kind of drunk are you?”

“I guess that’s for me to know, and for you to find out,” Renjun coos. He grabs Jaemin’s hand and drags him towards the dance floor. “Let’s dance.”

The look Renjun gives him makes Jaemin’s mouth go dry and he lets himself be dragged to the middle of the dance floor. He can see Jeno dancing with Chaeyeon and Chaewon, laughing when they grab his hands and make him dance like an octopus. Jaemin also sees Mark dancing with his soulmate, Yukhei, out of the corner of his eye. His attention is brought back to Renjun, though, when he wraps his arms around Jaemin’s neck and smiles up at him. Their height difference is accentuated by their close proximity, and Jaemin can’t seem to remember how to breathe.

“What? So, you’re allowed to kiss me, but I can’t dance with you like this?” Renjun raises an eyebrow and tilts his head in question. “Who let you make the rules, Na?”

Swallowing with great difficulty, Jaemin manages to choke out, “I never said that.”

Renjun beams. “Good.”

Jaemin feels lightheaded, and he knows it’s not from the alcohol.

They dance for a while before joining a couple of friends in one of the rooms to play games and hang out, sick of the sweaty bodies in the living room. Jaemin has his arms wrapped around Renjun, who’s getting louder and louder the more he drinks. He can’t help but laugh at the way Renjun argues with Sicheng about something, the two of them definitely too drunk to be coherent.

The door opens, and Mark walks in with Yukhei. Donghyuck trails behind them, attention on his phone. Jaemin’s face falls at that and he tenses up a little, but Renjun doesn’t seem to notice, too focused on whatever he and Sicheng are arguing about. Donghyuck looks up from his phone when Mark stops in his tracks, causing him to run into the older boy.

“Hey—” Whatever Donghyuck had been about to say dies in his throat when he sees Jaemin. His eyes trail over the way Jaemin has his arms wrapped around Renjun, and something in his eyes change as he turns around and walks out. Jaemin sucks in a breath and forces himself to relax.

He makes eye contact with Mark, who looks pained, and gives him an apologetic look.

“It’s not your fault,” Mark mouths, giving Jaemin a grimace before walking out and going after Donghyuck. Yukhei looks confused but gives Jaemin a little wave, following after Mark.

When he turns to look at Jeno, Jaemin finds that his best friend is already staring at him with wide eyes.

“Min?” Renjun murmurs sleepily, catching Jaemin’s attention.

“Yeah?” Jaemin shifts so that Renjun can rest more comfortably on his lap.

Renjun yawns, blinking, and Jaemin thinks he kind of resembles a fox. “I want to go home now. I’m getting sleepy.”

“Okay.” Jaemin smiles softly and helps Renjun stand up. “I’ll take you home.”

“Thanks,” Renjun mumbles, stumbling a little. “You’re the best, Min.”

Jaemin chuckles, letting Renjun lean all his weight on him so that Jaemin can support him. “I try, Junnie. I try.”

☾

The next time Jaemin sees Donghyuck, they’re both alone. All the classrooms in the science building had been taken, so Jaemin had been forced to go to the library in hopes of finding somewhere quiet to study. His dorm is out of the question since Jaemin knows that he’ll just be tempted to sleep instead of study. All the desks and tables on the quiet floor are taken, so Jaemin has to cross his fingers and hope that there’s at least one unoccupied table on the main floor. He doesn’t like studying there because of the noise and distractions, but beggars can’t be choosers, Jaemin supposes.

He makes one last sweep to see if anyone’s left, but no luck. Jaemin sighs and trudges down the stairs back to the first floor, praying that there’s an empty table, or someone who’s willing to share their space, at least.

Jaemin spots his brother and Doyoung studying (he can’t believe Jaehyun actually _studies_ ) with Sicheng and Yuta but forgoes going over to them because he knows that Sicheng will spend the entire time glaring and pouting at him while Jaehyun finds some way to bother him.

“Damn,” Jaemin curses under his breath. The library is packed, much to Jaemin’s surprise. The semester has barely started and there’s still time before the courseworks and threat of midterms loom over them. The only reason Jaemin is even here is because he’s already behind on readings, and discrete math is already starting to kick his ass.

“Jaemin?” A quiet voice interrupts Jaemin’s internal debate on whether sitting with his brother or going to his dorm would be better.

“Huh?” Jaemin blinks and turns to look at where the voice came from. He barely manages to hide his surprise when he sees that it’s Donghyuck, who’s staring up at him with wide eyes. “Oh. Hi.”

“Hi,” Donghyuck greets back meekly. It’s a far cry from the usual coldness Jaemin gets from the boy, and Jaemin doesn’t know how to react. “Are you… here to study?”

“Um.” Jaemin isn’t sure how to respond. “Yeah.”

Donghyuck seems to shrink back more and more the longer they talk. “Oh. Can’t find a table?”

Jaemin shakes his head, still a little dumbfounded that they’re actually talking without Donghyuck storming off somewhere. It seems that Mark had been right when he told Jeno that Donghyuck wants to _start over_. “No, they’re all taken.”

“I see.” Donghyuck chews his lips, looking contemplative. “Do you want to sit here?”

This time, Jaemin really can’t manage to hide his surprise at Donghyuck’s offer. “What?”

Donghyuck really shrinks back at that, and Jaemin feels a rush of guilt.

“Never mind, that was stupid of me to ask,” Donghyuck mumbles, grip tightening on his pen. “Sorry.”

“No, uh, it’s okay,” Jaemin stammers out. “I—do you mind? If I sit here?”

Donghyuck looks up at Jaemin’s question and blinks in surprise. “Uh, no, I don’t mind. Go ahead.”

“Thanks,” Jaemin says quietly and sits down in the seat that’s diagonal from Donghyuck’s.

Donghyuck quietly clears out his notes and puts them on his side so that Jaemin has somewhere to put his stuff. The silence is suffocating, and Jaemin tries not to fidget while he turns on his laptop. A peek at his notes tells him that it’s practically illegible, and Jaemin stifles a sigh when he realizes he’ll need to strike another deal with Jinyoung to get legible notes.

Hours pass by without either of them realizing it and by the time Jaemin finishes catching up to this week’s material, it’s past dinnertime. Jaemin stares at his laptop blankly, trying to reboot his brain and get rid of everything math related. A growl snaps him out of his daze, and Jaemin blinks, trying to figure out where the sound came from.

He looks over at Donghyuck and finds him turning pink.

“Are you hungry?” Jaemin blurts out before he can stop himself, and he’s mortified at himself. Donghyuck quite literally flinches and jumps in his seat, whipping his head to look at Jaemin in surprise.

“No?” he squeaks out, embarrassment flooding his voice.

Jaemin raises an eyebrow and Donghyuck deflates, nodding sadly. “Do you want to go get something to eat?” Jaemin asks timidly. “I’m hungry too, and all of my friends probably already ate dinner, so…”

“Oh. Yeah, sure.” Donghyuck smiles hesitantly. 

“… McDonalds?” Jaemin suggests, because he is still crying over his bank account after buying all his books for the semester. “I’m kind of, like, really broke.”

Donghyuck grimaces. “Yeah, I feel that. I’ve been craving a Big Mac for the longest time, but Xuxi refuses to go with me. Stupid athletes and their healthy diets.”

Jaemin laughs at that. When they leave the library, both of them look up at the sky, frowning when they realize it’s pouring.

“How did we not hear this?” Jaemin asks. “I didn’t even know it was supposed to rain today.”

“I never check my weather app,” Donghyuck admits with a sigh. “Maybe it’s time I start doing that. Do you have an umbrella?”

Jaemin opens his bag to check, pouting when he realizes that he left it at his dorm. “No.” he shakes his head. “Do you?”

“Nope,” Donghyuck sighs forlornly.

“Do you want to run for it?” Jaemin suggests as he shrugs his bag back on. “The bus stop is only a five-minute walk, isn’t it?”

Donghyuck turns and squints at him, trying to figure out if Jaemin is being serious with his suggestion. “Really?”

“Why not?” Jaemin beams. “Running in the rain is fun!”

“Yeah, if you want to catch pneumonia,” Donghyuck mutters under his breath. He doesn’t get a chance to say no, though, because Jaemin grabs him by the arm and drags him out into the rain. “Jaemin!” Donghyuck shrieks in protest, immediately firing complaints at getting drenched. Jaemin ignores him though, laughing loudly as they run to the bus stop.

Donghyuck yanks his hand back halfway through the run and Jaemin almost stumbles, managing to catch himself on time. He looks at Donghyuck in surprise, and Donghyuck looks back at him with a determined expression on his face.

The wind is loud, and Jaemin can barely hear anything except for the sound of raindrops hitting the pavement.

Donghyuck says something that Jaemin doesn’t quite catch, so he leans in and cups a hand over his ear. “What did you say?” he yells to be heard over the wind and rain. “I didn’t hear you.”

“I said that I’m sorry.” Donghyuck practically screams and Jaemin flinches. “I messed up. I messed up big time. But I’m a selfish fucker and I want you in my life. I’m sorry for the way I treated you even though you didn’t deserve it, and I’m sorry for reappearing even though it’s clear you’re fine without me. I’m sorry, Jaemin.”

To say that Jaemin is shocked would be an understatement. He studies Donghyuck’s expression, trying to figure out if this is a cruel joke, but finds nothing but sincerity in the other boy’s expression.

“Why?” Jaemin asks. It’s _the_ question that’s been bugging him for ages. “Why did you do it? Why did you push me away like that?” His face crumples at the last question, and it’s like a dam had been opened. “It hurt, you know, when you did that. When you treated me like I was nothing, like I wasn’t even worth your time.”

“I know.” Donghyuck looks pained. “I know, Jaemin. I’m sorry.”

“So why?” Jaemin presses, stepping closer to Donghyuck. He doesn’t let Donghyuck step back, grabbing his wrist when he tries. “Why, Donghyuck?”

“I was scared,” Donghyuck chokes out, blinking rapidly. Jaemin isn’t sure if the water running down Donghyuck’s face is only raindrops or if it’s something else as well. “I was scared of getting hurt, so I pushed you away. The system… the system failed me before, and I didn’t want to experience that kind of hurt ever again. So, I tried to protect myself, but in the process of doing that I hurt _you_ , and that hurt more than anything else I’ve ever experienced.”

Jaemin is floored. He’s at a loss for words, and the pain in Donghyuck’s eyes makes his chest feel hollow. “I wouldn’t have done that to you.”

Donghyuck wipes his eyes furiously and Jaemin grabs his wrists to stop him, wiping away the tears for him. They’re mixed with the rainwater, but the redness of his eyes is unmistakable.

“I know,” says Donghyuck, sounding so broken that Jaemin breaks with him. “I know, and I’m sorry.”

They stand there in the rain just staring at each other. Neither of them move a muscle, and it’s only when Donghyuck sneezes that Jaemin snaps out of it. “We should go find somewhere dry. Come on, my dorm is right there.”

Donghyuck follows listlessly as Jaemin leads him to his dorm. They’re drenched to the bone, and Jaemin _knows_ Jeno will nag at him if they let any of the water drip onto their carpet. Donghyuck doesn’t make a single sound even as Jaemin holds out a towel for him to dry himself off. Silence blankets the room as Jaemin and Donghyuck dry off their hairs on opposite sides of the room. Jaemin doesn’t know if it’s a good thing or not that Jeno isn’t here.

“Done?” Jaemin asks when it looks like Donghyuck is finished drying himself off. “You should change into something that isn’t wet. Do you… do you want to borrow something?”

“Um.” Donghyuck fidgets under Jaemin’s gaze. “No, it’s okay. I don’t want to impose.”

“You wouldn’t be,” Jaemin says quietly, but Donghyuck pretends he didn’t hear him. _You're my soulmate._

“I should get going. It’s late.” Donghyuck tries to smile but fails. He tries to push past Jaemin, but Jaemin doesn’t let him go.

He frowns down at Donghyuck, eyebrows furrowed with worry. “It’s still pouring, Donghyuck. If you don’t want to change at least take my umbrella.”

“No, really.” Donghyuck tries to get out of Jaemin’s grip. “I don’t want to be a bother, Jaemin.”

“Why would you be a bother, Donghyuck?” Frustration bleeds into Jaemin’s voice. _You're my soulmate._ “I don’t want you to get sick.” He lowers his voice so that he doesn’t scare Donghyuck away. “Please, at least take a jacket. And my umbrella. Please.”

Donghyuck stares holes into the ground, blinking rapidly. “Okay,” he croaks brokenly. Jaemin wants to cry. “Okay. Can I borrow your umbrella?”

Jaemin let’s out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Yeah, okay. Can you… do you want to borrow a jacket? Hoodie?”

“Sure,” Donghyuck agrees quietly. “Thank you, Jaemin.”

“No problem,” Jaemin breathes out, holding out a hoodie for Donghyuck to take. He watches as Donghyuck shrugs it on, looking impossibly small in it. That hoodie is big even for Jaemin, so Donghyuck positively drowns in it. “Here’s the umbrella.”

Donghyuck takes it with a quiet ‘thank you’ and turns to leave. He turns around, though, to give Jaemin a hesitant wave before ducking out of the room. Jaemin stares blankly and waves back to the empty air where Donghyuck once stood, and he can’t help but wonder if he and Donghyuck can really start over and be friends.

At the very least, Jaemin thinks to himself, he still wants to be a part of Donghyuck’s life in some way or another.

☾

The end comes at the most unexpected time and in the most unexpected way.

In a way maybe Jaemin shouldn’t be too surprised. Fate has always been something you shouldn’t mess with, and even Jaemin himself had been a pretty firm believer of it until, well, recent events.

But maybe, maybe he shouldn’t have been so cynical and quick to dismiss the way fate can work. After Donghyuck had pushed him away like that, Jaemin had thought that maybe fate isn’t always right, after all. That maybe sometimes, people can decide to rewrite their own fates the way _they_ want their lives to go.

This very situation, though, makes Jaemin rethink everything he’s already rethought since starting university.

“I met him today,” Renjun says. His eyebrows are furrowed, and there’s a look on his face that’s unfamiliar to Jaemin. “My soulmate, I mean. I met him today.”

 _Soulmates_. That’s a topic that neither of them had ever brought up. Jaemin had just assumed that Renjun had his own story, just like him, and Renjun had assumed to same. But maybe, just maybe, Jaemin thinks, they should’ve talked about it after all.

“Oh,” Jaemin says, because he doesn’t know what else he _could_ say. “I see.”

“Yeah.” Renjun is still frowning. “I thought… I didn’t know. That he was alive, I mean.”

Now it’s Jaemin’s turn to frown. “Huh?”

Renjun takes a deep breath and when he looks up, there’s the most heartbroken expression Jaemin has ever seen on anyone. Even himself. “When I was seventeen,” Renjun starts, “there was an obituary in our local newspaper. It was some accident, I don’t remember the specifics, but one of the names listed… One of the names listed was Xiao Dejun.”

Jaemin doesn’t understand it until Renjun rolls up his sleeve and shows Jaemin the name that’s etched on his wrist. It takes Jaemin’s brain a second to catch up, but when it does, realization hits him like a fucking truck. “Oh.”

“Yeah.” Renjun lets out a shaky breath. “I guess maybe I should’ve taken into factor that having the same name as someone is an actual thing that happens.”

“Maybe,” Jaemin agrees. His mind is still swirling, trying to get a grasp of the situation.

“I called my mom to ask her about it,” Renjun continues. “Turns out, the Xiao Dejun that was listed on the newspaper was a sixty-year-old man who owned a farm with his wife.”

Well, that certainly isn’t Renjun’s soulmate. Jaemin stares at Renjun, who doesn’t look at him in the eye. He had thought that maybe his heart was done being stomped on. Apparently, Jaemin had been wrong.

But that seems to be a recurring theme in Jaemin’s life.

“So,” Jaemin forces himself to say. It’s clear that Renjun isn’t going to continue the conversation, so Jaemin figures if his heart is going to be broken and stomped on yet again, he should at least be able to be the one to end it. “We’re breaking up, then?”

Not that they had made anything official in the first place. It wouldn’t be fair for Jaemin to blame everything on Renjun when they had been dancing together, but right now, Jaemin can’t bring himself to care—or think rationally. He’s been hurt enough, and Jaemin is sick and tired of being the one who’s stepped on in the process of people trying to find their happiness.

“Jaemin,” Renjun pleads. “Please.”

“Please what, Renjun?” Jaemin lets out a hollow laugh. “We are, aren’t we? I just want to confirm it so that I can at least get some closure. Don’t you think I deserve that? Don’t you think we both deserve that?”

“I never wanted to hurt you,” whispers Renjun. His voice cracks and it looks like he’s holding back tears. Jaemin wants to reach over and wipe them away, but he can’t. He doesn’t have the right to do that. Not anymore.

Jaemin blinks back the tears and forces his voice to stay steady when he says, “But you did, and it happened. This isn’t your fault. It isn’t anyone’s fault. Life just sucks sometimes, and we’re just another pair of victims to the curveball it likes to throw at humans.”

Tears are streaming down Renjun’s face and Jaemin clenches his fist, forcing himself to stay in his seat.

“I’m sorry,” Renjun says again.

“It’s not your fault,” replies Jaemin. He’s tired, and he just wants to go back to his dorm and take a nap until next week, maybe. “I hope he makes you happy, Renjun.”

And that’s the truth, much to Jaemin’s surprise.

Renjun looks up at that and the tears in his eyes make them look like they’re sparkling like the stars.

Their fleeting romance comes to an end on a cloudy, Tuesday morning, and Jaemin watches blankly as yet another person he thinks he could have grown to love walks out of his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which redemption is in the process of making.

When Jaehyun texts him that they’re going to get dinner with Doyoung and Jeno tonight, absolutely no exceptions, Jaemin knows his excuses won’t work anymore.

He’s been avoiding his brother for the past few weeks under the guise of being busy with school, but it seems that Jaemin gives his brother less credit than he deserves, because Jaehyun is relentless. Jeno scoffs and rolls his eyes at Jaemin’s dejected expression and asks him impatiently, “Well, what did you expect?”

“I don’t know,” Jaemin grumbles. “I thought maybe if I avoid him long enough, he’d let me be until we go home for spring break.”

“Jaemin, please,” Jeno deadpans. “Sicheng ge probably told him the gist of what happened already. I’m surprised Jaehyun hyung hasn’t tried kicking down our door yet.”

“He probably would’ve if he didn’t have to pay for the damages.” Jaemin sulks. He loves his brother, he really does, but Jaemin is really, _really_ not looking forward to having dinner with him and Doyoung. “Do you think if I tell him I’m sick he’d buy the excuse?”

Jeno gives his best friend the flattest expression he can muster. “You do realize that if you tell him you’re sick, he and Doyoung hyung will 100% break into our room with medicine, soup, and a lecture?”

He’s right, but that doesn’t mean Jaemin wants to admit it. He continues to sulk until it’s time for them to get ready and head out to meet his brother and Jeno’s cousin. “I don’t want to go.”

“Yes, I know, you big baby,” says Jeno, patting Jaemin’s head. “Look on the bright side! They’re going to pay for our dinner. Free food is the best food, right?”

Jaemin sighs dramatically, because that is what he is: a dramatic bitch. “I guess you’re right,” he laments, leaning his weight against Jeno, who rolls his eyes but supports Jaemin’s weight anyways. “I’ll run away right after eating.”

“Oh, my God,” Jeno says. “Jaehyun hyung will kill you.”

“What about Doyoung hyung?” Jaemin asks, looking up at Jeno with wide, curious eyes.

Jeno thinks for a second. “He’d probably watch and help you find a place to hide. He likes to see Jaehyun hyung suffer. He’s so weird.”

“I guess that’s love,” Jaemin sighs wistfully. “That’s love, my young Jeno.”

“We’re the same age,” Jeno reminds Jaemin. “And if we go by months, I’m older than you.”

Jaemin shakes his head. “You know nothing about the delicate intricacies that is love, Jeno.”

Letting out a long-suffering sigh, Jeno just accepts it and pats Jaemin’s head again. “Yeah, okay. Whatever you say, Jaemin. Whatever you say.”

☾

Dinner goes well enough. Jaemin had kept his expectations rock bottom just in case, but the food is nice and neither Jaehyun nor Doyoung pester him for answers on what happened. In fact, they don’t even bring up the topic of Renjun the entire time, and it isn’t until they go to Gong Cha that they break the silence.

“So,” Doyoung says, sipping on his bubble tea. “Who’s going to bring it up?”

Jaehyun sighs, looking up at the ceiling before turning to give Doyoung a look. “You just did, babe. And I thought we agreed that we would wait for Jaemin to bring it up himself.”

“Yeah, well,” Doyoung shrugs, “we gave him three weeks to bring it up and he didn’t, so. Who’s going to bring it up.”

Both Jaemin and Jeno roll their eyes at Doyoung. 

“Hyung, have some tact,” Jeno says bluntly, looking unamused. “Please, it really wouldn’t kill you.”

“It would,” both Doyoung and Jaehyun chorus. “It really would,” Jaehyun repeats seriously.

Jeno gives them both a pained look.

“Okay, moving on,” Jaemin interrupts. “I guess I’ll bring it up. Even though Doyoung hyung brought it up already.” He pauses, then frowns. “Wait, what exactly am I bringing up?”

Doyoung sighs and sets down his bubble tea. 

“God truly is fair,” he muses, mostly to himself. “He gave Jaemin the looks, the height, the brains. Not to mention Jisung and Chenle’s comments about being able to do laundry on your abs. God truly gave you everything, Jaemin, except for common sense.”

“Hey,” Jaemin protests. “I have common sense.”

“Jaemin tried to microwave his take-out box in the communal microwave yesterday,” Jeno informs Jaehyun and Doyoung. “It was made out of Styrofoam.”

Doyoung gives Jaemin an ‘I told you so’ look while Jaehyun looks like he doesn’t know if he should be surprised or worried.

Jaemin thinks that Jeno is a snake who doesn’t deserve the BFF necklace Jaemin got for them last Christmas.

“I trusted you,” Jaemin hisses to Jeno, who just shrugs. “I’m revoking your best friend card.”

“Who else is going to be your best friend, then?” Jeno retorts. “Mark?”

“Jisung,” Jaemin shoots back. “At least Jisungie loves me.”

Jaehyun raises his hand and says, “Jisung texted me yesterday telling me how you texted him crying about how you’ve been living off of coffee for the past week. He asked me to do something about it, by the way, which is why we’re here.”

Jaemin’s jaw drops while Jeno can’t hold back his laughter. Why is everyone around Jaemin so fake? He doesn’t deserve this.

“Excuse me,” Jaemin protests again, pouting. “I just got my heart broken twice. It hasn’t even been two full semesters since I started college! I want a refund.”

That sobers Jaehyun and Doyoung up, and they stop laughing. Jeno also straightens up in his seat and grabs Jaemin’s hand, squeezing tight and silently letting him know that he’s here for Jaemin.

“What happened exactly?” Jaehyun questions. “Sicheng didn’t really tell me anything, just that you two ended things because of some things, but he didn’t elaborate on what those things were.”

Jaemin purses his lips and looks at the wall, unable to meet anyone’s eyes. “He met his soulmate.”

Jaehyun quite literally crushes his cup and Doyoung stares at Jaemin blankly. “What,” Doyoung says. “He what.”

“Are you really going to make me repeat it,” Jaemin whines, still avoiding everyone’s eyes. “Not even you can be that cruel, hyung.”

“Jaemin.” Jaehyun has a serious expression on his face. “What happened?”

“I just told you,” Jaemin says flatly, finally turning to look at his brother. “Renjun met his soulmate, so we broke up. That’s all there is to it.”

Jeno looks at Jaemin sadly while Jaehyun looks pissed off. Doyoung sits there, cleaning up the mess Jaehyun made with a contemplative look on his face. Jaemin just wants to go back to his dorm and take a nap before his inevitable doom tomorrow in the form of midterms.

“So, he said that he wants to break up?” Doyoung asks, trying to clarify. “Is that what Renjun said?”

Jaemin shakes his head. “No. He didn’t say it.”

“Then what?” Jaehyun demands, furrowing his eyebrows.

“He told me he met his soulmate, hyung,” Jaemin says quietly. “What should I have done? Grabbed his arm and begged him to stay? He spent years thinking that his soulmate was dead because of an obituary in the newspaper he saw by chance. He sounded so relieved that his soulmate wasn’t dead. So, tell me, what should I have done? Who am I to stand in the way of his happiness?”

“You’re right,” Doyoung admits, and Jaehyun whips his head so fast to look at him that Jaemin finds himself seriously worrying for his brother’s neck. “You’re right. Renjun has every right to be happy with his soulmate. But Jaemin, what about you? Don’t you deserve to be happy? How do you know Renjun’s happiness is with his soulmate instead of with you?”

“I don’t.” Jaemin gives Doyoung a sad smile. “I don’t, but Renjun has the right to try, at least, doesn’t he? I didn’t get a chance to even try with Donghyuck, and I didn’t want Renjun to be deprived of that chance because of me.”

“Jaemin,” Jeno pipes up quietly next to him. “You deserve to be happy too.”

Jaemin turns to look at Jeno, who stares at him with an expression that resembles a kicked puppy. “Maybe,” Jaemin says after a beat of pause. “But maybe my happiness wasn’t with Renjun, after all.”

Despite what Jeno, Jaehyun, and Doyoung may think, Jaemin is more okay than he seems. It’s okay that he and Renjun broke up. It’s okay that Renjun will find happiness in someone who isn’t Jaemin. He really isn’t all that bitter. More than anything, Jaemin’s glad that Renjun will no longer have to live with the sadness of thinking that his soulmate is dead.

“It’s okay, you know,” Jaemin tells them. “I’m happy for Renjun. I really am.”

Jaehyun sighs and runs his fingers through his hair. 

“Okay,” he says. “If that’s what you say, then I don’t have a reason not to believe it. But stop avoiding me, okay? If you ignore my texts for three weeks again, I’m going to break down your door and drag you out by the ears.”

“Can you even afford to pay for the repairs?” Jaemin muses. “You probably have more debt than I do, hyung.”

“Don’t be a brat,” Jaehyun hisses, and just like that, their little moment is broken. The bubble of sadness that was around their table bursts and the four of them are back to exposing embarrassing moments (Doyoung tells them about how Jaehyun had added salt instead of sugar to his coffee this morning and spit the entire thing out into Doyoung’s face) and updating each other about their lives.

It’s nice to be able to forget about everything for a bit, and Jaemin basks in the presence of his brother and Doyoung for the first time in a while. He misses the fond expressions he gets from everyone and has an easy smile on his face for the rest of the night, and even when he and Jeno drag themselves to the science building afterwards, the smile doesn’t leave his face.

Well, until the demon that is discrete math rears its ugly head once more.

☾

This time, Donghyuck approaches him first. It’s oddly reminiscent of the first time they quite literally ran into each other while Jaemin had been rushing off to lecture, and Jaemin blinks as he helps Donghyuck pick up the belongings he’s dropped when they ran into each other.

“Are you okay?” he asks, because Donghyuck had kind of run into him. Hard. His chest hurts from the impact, and Jaemin rubs at it absentmindedly.

“I’m fine.” Donghyuck grimaces. “This is so embarrassing.”

Jaemin chuckles and hands Donghyuck his phone. “I pray for your bank account that this isn’t cracked.”

“I’ll cry,” Donghyuck says seriously while making a face. “I’m serious. I literally just got my screen fixed.”

“You should invest in some tempered glass screen protector,” Jaemin says idly. “My brother uses that because he’s a dumbass who doesn’t put a case on his phone.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow at that. “What phone does he have?”

“An iPhone XS Max.”

“… Dude.”

“I know.” Jaemin winces. “So, what’s a music major doing in the science building?” He already has a vague idea of why Donghyuck is hanging around here again, and Jaemin’s just glad that his lecture is over. “Well?” He prods when Donghyuck doesn’t answer, cheeks slowly turning red.

“Uh,” Donghyuck starts, looking shifty. Jaemin wants to laugh. Just a little bit. “I was waiting for Mark…?”

Okay, viable excuse, Jaemin can give him that. What Donghyuck doesn’t know, however, is that Jaemin has unfortunately memorized Mark’s schedule this semester on accident while trying to make plans, and he knows for a fact that Mark doesn’t have any classes here that day. “Right.”

Donghyuck seems to know he’s screwed when he hears Jaemin’s tone. “… Yeah.”

“Mark should be hanging out with Yukhei and getting food or something right now,” Jaemin says, offering Donghyuck a way out. “You should try texting him.”

“Oh, okay.” Donghyuck shifts from foot to foot. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome.” He gives Donghyuck a toothy smile. “I’ll be on my way, then?”

“Wait.” Donghyuck moves to block Jaemin’s way before he can leave. “Okay, I lied. You caught me.”

Jaemin tries to stifle his laughter but he clearly fails from the way Donghyuck glares at him. “Okay, okay, I’m sorry. What’s up?”

“I was wondering if you wanted to grab something to eat?” Donghyuck asks, fiddling with his thumbs. “Only if you’re free. And have time. If you’re not busy. Yeah.”

“Donghyuck,” Jaemin says, trying not to sound like he’s amused. Which he is. Jaemin is so amused. “You know you repeated the same thing like, three times. Just with different wording?”

“Shut up,” Donghyuck hisses. “I’m shy, okay?”

There are many words Jaemin would probably use to describe Donghyuck, but shy isn’t one of them. Not until now, that is, Jaemin thinks as he observes the way Donghyuck’s cheeks remain red from embarrassment (from being shy?) and the way he continues to shift from foot to foot, playing with his fingers.

There are many sides to Donghyuck, it would seem, and Jaemin kind of wants to get to know them all.

“I’m free,” Jaemin says. “What do you want to eat?”

Donghyuck’s eyes light up at that and Jaemin feels himself smiling as well. “McDonald’s? We never did get the chance to get any that night.”

“Sure, that works,” Jaemin agrees. “Do you want to take the bus or walk?”

“Do you mind if we walk?” Donghyuck asks hesitantly. “The bus is always packed at this time, and I really don’t feel like being squished on the way there.”

“I don’t mind.” Jaemin smiles and gestures for Donghyuck to lead the way. Donghyuck smiles back at him and they leave the building. It’s a little awkward, with neither of them knowing what to say, really. 

“So,” Jaemin starts, because he doesn’t know if he can take the silence the entire walk over to McDonald’s. “How’s school?”

School is a safe subject, and since Jaemin’s already revealed that he knows what Donghyuck majors in, he figures he should ask how university is going for him.

Donghyuck thinks for a second before answering with a, “I’m seriously rethinking my entire tertiary education.”

“We’ve only been college students for like, one and a half semesters,” Jaemin says, squinting.

“Okay, and?” Donghyuck turns, raising an eyebrow. “Are you judging me?”

Jaemin has to pause. “No, not really,” he admits. “I feel that. College kind of sucks and I want a refund.”

“Same,” Donghyuck sighs. “All it’s doing is sucking my bank account dry. I would also like a refund, please.”

That’s all it takes for them to break out into conversation, and Jaemin finds out that Donghyuck wants to go into music production or work as a vocal coach, and that he met Mark back in middle school because their moms are friends.

He also learns that Donghyuck is closed off, but Jaemin doesn’t learn this from Donghyuck telling him. He learns from the way the other boy shies away from any personal questions. He learns from the way Donghyuck avoids revealing anything about himself outside of how everyone sees him at school.

Jaemin learns that Donghyuck has walls built up around to protect him, and Jaemin can’t help but wonder who had caused someone as bright as Donghyuck to put them up there in the first place.

“What are you going to get?” Jaemin asks, staring up at the menu.

Donghyuck hums, looking up at the menu as well. “McNuggets, I think. What about you?”

Jaemin doesn’t answer, walking up to the cash register instead. He hears Donghyuck make a confused noise before following him, but Jaemin ignores him and orders, “A 40-piece McNuggets, please. What sauce do you want, Donghyuck?”

“Uh, sweet and sour. What are you—”

“With sweet and sour sauce, please,” Jaemin finishes order and grins. “Oh, and large fries, please. Do you want anything to drink, Duck?”

Donghyuck stares at him blankly. “What.”

Jaemin raises an eyebrow when Donghyuck continues to just stare at him, so he shrugs and turns back to the cashier. “Two cokes, please.”

He hands the cashier his card and takes it back along with the receipt. When it looks like Donghyuck is still trying to process the situation, Jaemin quickly ushers him to wait for their food so that the people behind them can order. “Go look for a table,” he tells Donghyuck. “I think the one by the window over there is empty.”

“Okay,” Donghyuck says and walks off to claim the table. Jaemin stares at him, wondering how they managed to even get to this point. If someone had told Jaemin that he and Donghyuck would be at McDonald’s together, alone, without anyone forcing them to pretend they’re friends, he would’ve laughed in their face and told them to sober up. He might’ve even sneered and asked them why he would go anywhere with his soulmate who’s rejected him more than once.

And yet, here Jaemin is, waiting for their McDonald’s order while Donghyuck grabs a table for them.

Life is funny like that.

“Our food is here,” Jaemin sings, setting the tray down. “This should be enough for us, right?”

Donghyuck stares at him with wide eyes. “Um, I think so? Why did you pay?”

“Let’s eat. I skipped breakfast this morning ‘cause I woke up late,” Jaemin says, ignoring Donghyuck’s question. When Donghyuck sits there staring at Jaemin, he sighs and rests his chin on the palm of his hand. “I paid because you looked sad. Free food always cheers me up, so I figured I could treat you to something to eat. Sorry it’s not like, gourmet or anything, but from one broke college student to another, you understand, right?”

“I… yes?” Donghyuck squeaks out, and Jaemin tilts his head.

“When are you going to drop the demure act?” he asks bluntly. “I’ll admit, it was kind of surprising to see you like this at first. It wasn’t too bad, considering how we met, but I think we’re trying to get past all this now, right? You don’t have to put up a front anymore, Lee Donghyuck.”

Said boy stares at him blankly, and Jaemin can see the wheels starting to turn.

“Donghyuck,” Jaemin continues. “I’m telling you that you can treat me like your friend. That you don’t have to act like you’re dealing with something fragile, or something so important you can’t treat without care.”

“Are you sure about that?” Donghyuck asks, swallowing. There are unshed tears in his eyes and Jaemin gives him a soft smile. “I’m not sure you want me to treat you like how I treat Mark.”

Jaemin makes a face at that. “Yeah, Mark’s complained enough about your tendency to steal his food. Maybe don’t steal my food, and we’ll be good.”

Donghyuck laughs wetly, rubbing his eyes furiously. Jaemin pretends not to see the tears but hands him a couple of napkins anyways. He waits for Donghyuck to make the first move and eats the fries absentmindedly. Donghyuck stares at the food for a bit before picking up a nugget and dipping it into the sauce, throwing it into his mouth.

“He left us,” Donghyuck starts when half the food is gone. Jaemin looks up at him questioningly, and Donghyuck smiles softly as he wipes away the sauce from the corner of Jaemin’s lips. “My dad,” he clarifies. “He left us. Me, my mom, my little sister and brothers. He just decided one day that he didn’t want to be with us anymore, so he packed his bags and left.”

Jaemin doesn’t know what to say, so he stays silent. This isn’t a topic Jaemin is knowledgeable about enough to say something, so he lets Donghyuck talk, choosing to listen instead until Donghyuck wants him to talk.

“They _were_ soulmates, though,” Donghyuck says, studying the parking lot outside with a thoughtful expression. “His name was on her wrist, and her name was on his. But I guess even fate wasn’t strong enough to make him stay. It broke us, you know. Our family. When he left. Suddenly my mom had to support four children, and my dad sent the bare minimum amount for child support to avoid getting in trouble with the law.”

He has a bitter smile on his face as he talks, and Jaemin silently offers him a hand to hold if he wants to. Donghyuck takes it with a grateful smile and Jaemin squeezes it a little, reminding Donghyuck that he’s still here and to ground him so that he doesn’t get lost in his head.

“He got remarried, eventually,” Donghyuck continues. “I have a half-brother now. He’s adorable, and I adore him. His mother is nice, too. She and my mom get on surprisingly well considering the situation.”

“Your mother is a strong woman,” Jaemin tells him quietly. He knows that Donghyuck doesn’t need the reminder. “She seems admirable.”

“My mom is the best,” Donghyuck agrees with a bright smile. “She raised us all by herself, and look! Her eldest managed to get into university. Her second eldest is going to be her year’s valedictorian. My younger brothers are still trying to figure out what they want to do, but they do their best for everything.”

Jaemin squeezes Donghyuck’s hand again, letting him continue without interruption.

“She was hurt, though.” The smile on Donghyuck’s face dims. “That’s a given, obviously, but when I saw that, I knew. I knew I never wanted to make myself _that_ vulnerable to anyone, not even my soulmate. I couldn’t. Not after what I saw. Not after seeing that sometimes, fate _does_ make mistakes. That sometimes, your soulmate isn’t going to be your perfect half.

“They were happy in the beginning, I think.” He furrows his eyebrows. “I mean, they had four kids together. That has to mean _something_ , right? But I think that maybe, they’re better off separate. They fought a lot. Not in front of us, but we could hear them sometimes. The first few years were the worst, but things did get better after that. They talked it out and agreed they should remain civil for the sake of us, and now my dad tries to see my siblings at least twice a month.

“But just because everything is okay now doesn’t mean we’ll forget,” Donghyuck finishes quietly, eyes staring at the flimsy paper that separates their food from the plastic tray. “I’m not like my mom. I wouldn’t have been able to stand back up on my two feet if I went through that. I wouldn’t have been able to pick up the pieces if the person I trusted most decided to break me. So, I had to protect myself.”

Jaemin stares, wondering if it’s okay for him to talk. When Donghyuck doesn’t say anything for a couple of minutes, Jaemin assumes that it’s safe and asks, “What changed?”

Donghyuck shrugs. “It hurt a lot,” he confesses. “I told you that night, but I don’t know if you remember. In the process of trying to protect myself, I hurt you. And you know what, Na Jaemin? You have this peculiar talent of being able to get everyone and their grandmothers conscious of you. I tried to hate you; I really did. But I didn’t have a reason to, nor did I want to _find_ a reason to. In the end, I hurt you so that I wouldn’t get hurt, but joke’s on me because hurting you ended up hurting more than anything else in the world.”

“That doesn’t excuse you, you know that, right?” Jaemin says quietly.

“I know,” Donghyuck whispers. “I know, and that’s why I’m trying to make up for my mistakes. Only if you’ll let me, of course.”

Jaemin continues to stare at Donghyuck. There isn’t a reason he needs to forgive Donghyuck, Jaemin knows that. But there isn’t a reason he doesn’t need to forgive Donghyuck, either. And so, he decides to take a leap of faith, deciding to put his trust into the fickle mistress that is fate once more.

“What do you want?” He questions Donghyuck directly, not bothering to beat around the bush. “Lee Donghyuck, what is it that you want?”

Donghyuck chews his lips, face clearly riddled with anxiety. “Friends,” he says, finally. “I want to be friends.”

“Just friends?” Jaemin raises an eyebrow, and Donghyuck shrugs.

“You already have someone in your life, don’t you?” Donghyuck smiles sadly. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to try and take you back out of nowhere. Not after what I did. So, friends, Na Jaemin. That’s what I want. To be friends.”

Jaemin tilts his head, wondering if he should tell Donghyuck that he and Renjun had already ended things. “I don’t have anyone in my life,” he reveals slowly.

Donghyuck blinks. “The guy at the KSA party?” he asks, frowning a little.

“We ended things,” Jaemin tells him. “He met his soulmate, so I figured, why deprive him of that?”

The words are meant to hurt, because Jaemin had been pretty fucking hurt too. It works, and Donghyuck flinches, wincing a little. There is no feeling of satisfaction, though, and Jaemin wonders where all the previous anger and bitterness disappeared off to.

“I see,” Donghyuck says. He can’t meet Jaemin’s eyes. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be,” Jaemin replies. “That’s just how life is, sometimes. We’re okay, though, don’t worry. I think he feels guilty even though I’m okay and want him to be happy because he keeps giving me free pastries whenever I go to the café he works at.”

“So, are you two still friends?” Donghyuck asks, sounding like he’s scared of the answer. Jaemin isn’t sure why.

He nods. “Yeah, we are.”

“I’m happy for you,” Donghyuck says. “You deserve that. To be happy.”

Jaemin wonders if everybody in his life has made it a personal mission to say that at least once to him. Mark said it to him at the beginning of the semester, and even Yukhei had said it to him despite them having interacted exactly four times throughout the school year.

“Thanks,” says Jaemin, hesitating before he says his next words. “You deserve to be happy, too, you know.”

Donghyuck looks at him and smiles. It’s not a huge smile, but the joy is still there. Subtle, but there. And even then Jaemin thinks that Donghyuck rivals the sun when he smiles.

“I’m working on it,” Donghyuck says, squeezing Jaemin’s hand. Neither of them make a move to let go. “I’m working on it.”

And Jaemin believes him.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which everybody deserves their happy endings.

It’s unfair, really, the way Donghyuck manages to creep into almost every aspect of Jaemin’s life without a single warning.

It starts off small, with them grabbing something to eat every now and then or meeting up to get bubble tea while studying. Sometimes they meet up in the library, with one of them getting there earlier so that they can grab a table or a room to study in. Sometimes they hang out at their dorms, depending on whose is empty.

Jeno asks him about it one day, asking if they’re working things out, and Jaemin just shrugs, telling him that Donghyuck wants to be friends, apparently.

“Friends?” Jeno asks incredulously. “ _Friends_?”

“What’s wrong with being friends?” Jaemin shoots back, feeling oddly defensive.

Jeno squints, trying to figure out if Jaemin is being serious or not. Jaemin thinks his best friend might need glasses. “He wants to be friends, and you’re okay with that?”

Now it’s Jaemin’s turn to squint. “Why wouldn’t I be okay with that?”

“Wait a second,” Doyoung interrupts, holding out a hand to silence them while pinching the bridge of his nose with the other. Jaemin wonders why he looks like he’s in so much pain. “Somebody, please start from the beginning before Jaehyun and I have an aneurysm.”

Jaemin and Jeno stare at each other, with Jaemin silently telling Jeno _don’t you dare_. Jeno, of course, being the snake he is, doesn’t listen and immediately fires off, “Donghyuck said he wants to start over because he regrets being a huge dick to Jaemin so he’s been trying to make up for it for like the past semester and they’re friends now and Jaemin ditches me all the time to hang out with him instead.”

He finishes his mini rant with a pout, glaring at Jaemin childishly.

“Jaemin?” Jaehyun asks tiredly, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else but here.

“Jeno ditches me to hang out with Yangyang!” Jaemin reveals in protest.

“Jaemin didn’t come back to our dorm because he fell asleep at Donghyuck’s last night,” Jeno shoots back.

“Yeah, well Jeno skips his modules to hang out with Yangyang instead,” Jaemin hisses.

“This cannot be real,” Doyoung says to no one in particular.

Jaehyun opens his mouth to say something but closes it immediately. “Okay, whatever. I’m not going to meddle. He better not hurt you again, though.”

“I don’t think he will,” Jaemin says, but it gets lost in the general chaos that follows at the surprise entrance of Yangyang, who stares at Jeno and Co. with wide, frightened eyes. What a day to be alive, Jaemin thinks, as Jeno whips his head towards Doyoung in panic, probably hoping that his cousin will Not embarrass him in front of his soulmate.

(His prayers are in vain, however, because as soon as Yangyang is forced to join them, Doyoung doesn’t hesitate to reveal Jeno’s most embarrassing moments throughout childhood.

Jaemin has never admired Doyoung more than he does right at that moment.)

☾

“What are your plans for summer?” Donghyuck asks. They’re at the science building, because Jaemin’s _finally_ managed to convince Donghyuck that the Wi-Fi there is better than the Wi-Fi in the library. The A/C is on full blast because despite it not being summer quite yet, the temperature outside is unforgiving and Jaemin wants to die every time he has to leave the nice, air-conditioned buildings.

“I don’t know,” he replies. “I’ll probably pick up a summer job back at home since I didn’t get any internships this year. My mom said if I even try to laze around this summer, she’d kick my ass and send me to my grandpa’s farm to work until school starts, so…”

Donghyuck’s mouth falls open in surprise and he looks like he’s at a loss for words. “Um.”

Jaemin sighs. “What about you?” he asks.

“My dad wants my siblings and I to come over and spend the summer with him since my mom’s going to be busy with work,” Donghyuck says. “I said no, though, because Mark already invited me to spend the summer at his house.”

“Oh.” Jaemin blinks. “You’re going to spend the summer at Mark’s house?”

“Yeah,” Donghyuck says lamely, and Jaemin wonders if he’s reading into it too much or if there’s definitely a double meaning.

“That’s… cool.” Neither of them feel the need to bring up the fact that Jaemin and Mark live in the same town. He wonders if Donghyuck knows that he’s literally neighbors with Mark, but Jaemin decides to keep that info for himself for the time being. He’ll check with Mark later to see if he already told Donghyuck.

Donghyuck sighs. “Okay, I’m not going to beat around the bush. If it was just Mark, I probably would’ve said okay to my dad and went to spend the summer with him. But then Mark had to go and tell me that you two live in the same town, so I said ‘okay, fuck it, I want to see Jaemin over the summer’ and rejected my dad’s offer.”

Jaemin smiles proudly at the progress they’ve made so far. “See, now was that so hard?”

“I hate you, Na Jaemin,” Donghyuck says flatly.

“No, you don’t, Duckie,” Jaemin coos.

Donghyuck hisses like an angry cat, “Don’t call me that.” He’s scowling, but Jaemin knows it’s a bluff because Donghyuck’s ears are starting to turn very, _very_ red at the nickname and it’s starting to spread to his cheeks.

“How cute,” Jaemin comments, grinning widely at the way Donghyuck swats him angrily. “I’m going to change your name on my phone.”

“Why are you acting like you haven’t already saved me as ‘Duckie’ with the duck emoji already?” asks Donghyuck, sounding entirely unamused.

Jaemin beams and Donghyuck rolls his eyes, turning his attention back to his essay. He stares for a second before turning back to his own work, the unfinished string of code glaring at him from the screen.

What Donghyuck doesn’t know, is that Jaemin _does_ have him saved as ‘Duckie’ on his phone. But instead of the duck emoji, it’s the yellow heart and sunflower emojis that follows it.

But what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, Jaemin thinks as he allows himself one last glance at his soulmate, smiling fondly at the expression of concentration on Donghyuck’s face.

☾

Finals come and go and Jaemin is just glad to _finally_ be done with his first year. So far, he thinks that everything he’s been told about college has been a sham, and he really wasn’t kidding when he said that he wants a refund whenever people ask him how his year went.

“Finally, no more living with you,” Jeno groans dramatically as they start packing.

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “Why are you saying that as if we aren’t rooming together next year. Again.”

“Every day I ask myself what I was thinking when I said I’d room with you again,” Jeno sighs. Jaemin rolls his eyes even harder.

“You’re free to go room with Yangyang,” he says with a false air of sweetness. “I can room with someone else.”

Jeno narrows his eyes. “Yeah? With who?”

“Someone,” Jaemin says vaguely, hoping that Jeno will drop it. It’s something he’s been considering for a while now, but the housing applications had been due _before_ what their friends have dubbed “the Redemption Arc,” and so Jaemin is stuck rooming with Jeno again next year. Unless—

“Who?” Jeno demands, setting his books down. “Who are you trying to replace me with, huh?”

Jaemin sighs, wondering when his best friend had gotten so dramatic. “Nobody, you absolute walnut. I’m just giving you some options here.”

“I don’t believe it,” Jeno declares. “I don’t believe you at all, and I’m telling Jaehyun hyung. And Doyoung hyung. And your mom.”

“Going to tell them what,” Jaemin hisses defensively. “That I’m being a good friend and giving you the option to room with your soulmate instead of me?”

“Jaemin,” Jeno hisses back. “We literally managed to snag the best dorm this place has to offer. And you’re offering to give up your place to Yangyang? Without asking for anything back?”

Okay, so maybe Jeno does have some points, but Jaemin doesn’t let that deter him. “Yes? Why is that so hard to believe, asshole. I am a nice person. You know this. Everybody knows this!”

“You want to room with Donghyuck, don’t you,” Jeno accuses. “Traitor! Did you even ask him yet? Or worse, were you already planning on ditching me and you’re secretly rejoicing because you finally found a way out?”

“Oooookay.” Jaemin decides he needs to put an end to this madness. “You are watching _way_ too many soap operas. Yes, I may or may not kind of want to room with Donghyuck. No, I didn’t ask him yet. And _no_ , I wasn’t already planning on ditching you. Any more stupid questions, oh Jeno the Great, King of Dumbasses?”

Jeno sniffs. “You are hurting my feelings.”

“My bad,” Jaemin deadpans. “Well?”

“I’ll have to talk to Yangyang about it,” Jeno says. “You should probably talk to Donghyuck first before we decide anything, though. Do you know who he’s rooming with next year?”

Jaemin shakes his head. “He said that he doesn’t have a roommate, but he does have a double. I’ll talk to him tonight, so please ask Yangyang before somebody ends up taking the extra bed.”

“I can’t believe you’re leaving me _and_ West Village for a _boy_ ,” Jeno mumbles under his breath. “Wait until Doyoung hyung hears about this.”

“What are you, Malfoy?” Jaemin asks in half-exasperation, half-fondness, watching as Jeno whips out his phone and starts typing rapidly. A sense of dread fills him, and Jaemin, hurriedly in panic, says, “Please don’t tell Doyoung hyung, because that means he’s going to tell Jaehyun hyung, and he’s going to kick my ass for even thinking of this before telling him.”

“Too late,” Jeno sings, showing his phone to him and Jaemin curses under his breath. _Fucking snake._ “I already texted Doyoung hyung. Oh, look, he replied! He said that Jaehyun hyung is going to kick your ass later when he sees you, so watch out.”

Jaemin wonders what he could’ve possibly done wrong in his past life to be stuck with an absolute menace like Jeno as his best friend.

☾

True to her words, Jaemin is only allowed one week of unbothered rest before his mom threatens to send him to his grandpa’s farm for the summer. He’s forced to leave the comfort of his bed and go job hunting, and Donghyuck oh-so-valiantly volunteers to keep him company throughout the journey.

“My hero,” Jaemin deadpans. “What would I do without you.”

“Die, probably,” Donghyuck promptly responds. “Hey, can we get ice cream?”

Jaemin sighs and lets Donghyuck drag him over to the ice cream truck. The line is unforgivingly long, and if it were up to Jaemin, they’d leave to find refuge in a café somewhere, but Donghyuck looks so excited at the prospect of ice cream that Jaemin can’t bring himself to force them to leave.

They finally get their ice cream cones and search for somewhere they can sit. All the benches were taken because, for a reason Jaemin can’t possibly fathom, people leave their homes _willingly_ during the summer to hang out at the park. Shocking.

“Let me try a bite of yours,” Donghyuck demands, and Jaemin holds out his cone without much fight. He’s come to learn this past semester that Donghyuck can be a Brat, with a capital B, when he lets you close enough, and Jaemin learns the hard way that it’s futile to fight against the hurricane that is Lee Donghyuck.

The unforgiving sun makes their ice cream melt faster than it would’ve if they had been indoors, and soon enough the pair find that their arms are starting to get really sticky, and Jaemin feels kind of gross.

“Let’s go find somewhere we can wash our arms,” he says, jumping up from the curb and stretching his back. “I feel gross.”

“Same,” Donghyuck pouts, holding out his hands for Jaemin to take to help him up. “I feel so sweaty and sticky and _gross_.”

“Yes, thank you for elaborating,” Jaemin says flatly, hoisting Donghyuck up to his feet. “I think there should be a public bathroom somewhere here, come on.”

Donghyuck trails after him like a lost puppy, and Jaemin finds it so endearing that his heart might burst. He holds out his hand, offering it for Donghyuck to take, who takes it with a beam.

“Where do you want to go after this?” Jaemin asks. They spot a puppy to the side and both of them really want to go pet it, but the stickiness on their arm takes precedence, and so they continue making their way to the public bathroom.

Donghyuck hums. “I don’t know. Just somewhere with A/C, preferably.” The bathroom doesn’t have a line, thankfully, and it seems cleaner than the other public bathrooms Jaemin’s had the misfortune of having to use. They wash their arms quickly before drying off with a paper towel, leaving with their fingers intertwined together.

“Are you hungry?” Jaemin asks as if they hadn’t just had dessert.

“Not really,” Donghyuck hums. “We shouldn’t eat yet, anyways. We’re meeting up with your brother in a bit, aren’t we?”

Jaemin sighs. “Yeah, we are.”

“Sound more excited about it, will you?” Donghyuck asks dryly. Jaemin makes a face, causing the other boy to laugh. It’s not that Jaemin doesn’t want to see Jaehyun—they see each other all the time at home, dammit—he just doesn’t want to have to share Donghyuck with the other more than he has to quite yet, and Jaemin is already trying to think of an excuse to get out of the dinner his brother had demanded he and Donghyuck attend.

“If he doesn’t buy us something nice with that internship money, I’m going to disown him,” Jaemin vows.

Donghyuck squints. “You do realize he gets paid like, virtually nothing, right?”

“Yeah, but he still has more money than both of us combined,” Jaemin reasons. “I don’t know about you, but I have like, $12 to my name right now.”

“… That’s true,” Donghyuck sighs dejectedly. “Is Doyoung hyung coming?”

Jaemin pats Donghyuck on the head. “You’ll come to learn that where Jaehyun hyung goes, Doyoung hyung goes. And where Doyoung hyung goes—”

“Jaehyun hyung goes,” Donghyuck finishes. “Got it. That’s cute.”

“They’re an old married couple, and it’s gross,” Jaemin grumbles. “Want to get something to drink?”

“If they have A/C, I don’t care where we go,” Donghyuck says seriously.

“Okay. There’s a café down the street from the park. Let’s go there.” Jaemin leads the way and they both sigh in relief at the cool air that greets them when they enter the café. “I need coffee.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes. “Your mom banned you, remember?”

“Yeah,” Jaemin pouts, “but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her, right?”

“I’m going to tell,” Donghyuck immediately says. “I’m going to tell her that you drank your drink of death, and she’ll send you to your grandfather’s farm for the rest of the summer.”

“How could you,” Jaemin hisses in betrayal, but orders a Green Tea Frappuccino instead anyways. “I can’t believe I’ve been betrayed by the one I trusted most.”

Donghyuck raises an eyebrow. “Jeno’s betrayed you multiple times now, hasn’t he? I mean, he told me about embarrassing goth phase in middle school—”

“We don’t talk about that,” Jaemin interrupts with a pained expression. “And that lasted for like, a month, okay. Jeno’s goth phase definitely lasted longer than mine did.”

“But it still happened,” Donghyuck chirps happily. “He had the pictures to prove it, too. Where’s your proof for Jeno’s, huh?”

Jaemin scowls, because he had accidentally deleted it during high school. Why past-Jaemin hadn’t thought to back up the pictures, he doesn’t know. “I’ll find the pictures somewhere, mark my words.”

Donghyuck pats his back, a look of faux sympathy on his face. “Of course you will, dear. Of course you will.”

“Mark my words,” Jaemin repeats with a hiss.

“Uh huh, of course, dear. Whatever you say,” Donghyuck says, clearly not listening anymore. He looks more interested in the cakes and Jaemin pouts at the loss of attention, whining and tugging on Donghyuck’s sleeve until the other boy pays attention to him again. “What are you, Tinker Bell?” Donghyuck complains with no bite. Jaemin knows that he’s secretly pleased when Jaemin vies for his attention, according to a drunken confession after another KSA party.

“Yes,” Jaemin deadpans. “I am Tinker Bell. I will literally die if you don’t give me your love and attention, so please pay attention to me.”

Donghyuck rolls his eyes playfully and nudges Jaemin towards one of the tables. “Come on, let’s loiter here until it’s time to meet your brother and Doyoung hyung for dinner.”

That’s an idea Jaemin can very much get on board with, and they pick up their drinks from the counter before making their way to an empty table. The café offers a selection of board games to play, and Donghyuck practically slams the box of Jenga onto their table with a delighted grin on his face.

(And if Jaemin lets Donghyuck win on purpose sometimes just to see his happy expression, then who’s to judge him, right?)

☾

“No way,” Jaemin says, immediately vetoing the idea. Donghyuck immediately whips his head towards him, pouting, and Mark and Jeno soon follow suit. “ _No_.”

“Jaemin,” Donghyuck whines, his pout in full force. “Come on. It’ll be fun!”

“I am not,” Jaemin hisses, “risking my life over something like this.”

Jeno pipes up from next to Mark, “We won’t be risking our lives if we don’t get caught.”

“And do you have the confidence not to get caught?” Jaemin fires, giving Jeno a critical look. God gave Jeno many talents, but stealth certainly isn’t one of them.

Mark lets out a quiet huff of laughter while Donghyuck tries to hold his back. Jeno’s face falls and he lunges forward to strangle Jaemin, but Mark holds him back.

“Nana,” Donghyuck tries again, and Jaemin refuses to look at him in fear of caving. “Nana, _please_?”

He knows he shouldn’t look, but Jaemin’s never been one to be smart. He glances over at Donghyuck and immediately finds his willpower crumbling. “... Fine.”

The three of them cheer, immediately beginning to plan exactly how they’d raid Jaehyun’s not-so-secret snack stash without getting caught.

(Later, Jaehyun hunts them down with the help of Doyoung and Jaemin has never regretted befriending Mark Lee and Lee Jeno so much in his entire life.)

☾

Donghyuck bursts into his room brandishing a water gun and Jaemin wants to run. “Water gun fight,” Donghyuck says seriously. “Jeno has water balloons.”

“No,” Jaemin says, pulling his blanket over his head. Donghyuck doesn’t listen and pulls the blankets off, spraying Jaemin in the face with his water gun. Jaemin groans and turns away from Donghyuck, burying his face into his pillow.

“Water fight,” Donghyuck repeats petulantly, tapping Jaemin in the back repeatedly. “Come on, we’re ganging up on Mark.”

That gets Jaemin’s attention and he turns to peek through his lashes and Donghyuck visibly brightens. “We’re ganging up on Mark?”

“Yes.” Donghyuck nods in confirmation, vibrating with excitement. “So, are you in?”

Jaemin stumbles out of bed. “I’m in. When do we start?”

“We’ve already started,” Donghyuck snorts. “Jeno’s probably pelting him outside already.”

Jaemin isn’t even surprised and trails after Donghyuck, taking the water gun that Jaehyun silently offers him on their way out the door.

☾

It isn’t often that everyone in the neighborhood gets the chance to hang out with them all being off at different universities, so when they hear that Taeyong, Jungwoo, and Ten are back from California for the summer, none of them hesitate to make plans as soon as they can.

They catch up over lunch at Jaemin’s house, introducing Donghyuck to the three of them, who all give Jaemin knowing looks when they realize just _who_ Donghyuck is.

After lunch, Jaemin plops down on the sofa, watching lazily as Jeno and Mark bicker over which video game to play on Jaehyun’s Switch. Jungwoo sidles over and makes himself comfortable next to Jaemin, nudging the younger with an elbow.

“I like him,” Jungwoo whispers. He nudges Jaemin softly, giving him a small, encouraging smile. “He makes you, hmm, how should I say this… brighter?”

Jaemin tilts his head curiously. “What do you mean?”

“I mean.” Jungwoo gestures vaguely with his hands. “You seem happy. He makes you happy, right?”

“He does,” Jaemin replies quietly, turning to look at Donghyuck with a fond smile. Donghyuck is currently the center of attention, having managed to enamor even Ten, who pretends to see Donghyuck as another annoying kid. “He really does.”

“You should tell him that,” Jungwoo says sagely.

Jaemin can’t take his eyes away from Donghyuck, who’s shining brighter than the sun itself. “I will,” he says. “I will.”

Jungwoo beams. “Good.”

☾

Summer comes to an end too soon, and between his job at their local grocery store and hanging out with whoever had been home for break, Jaemin can’t remember much outside of the whirlwind of seemingly organized chaos that Donghyuck seems to bring wherever he goes.

It’s not long before Donghyuck ends up practically living at Jaemin’s house instead of Mark’s, which the latter pouts at them for whenever they all hang out, and it takes an even less amount of time for Donghyuck’s belongings to start mixing themselves up with Jaemin’s.

For example, if Jaemin wakes up one morning and his mouth immediately goes dry at the sight of Donghyuck wearing his shirt, then that’s for him to know and for Jeno to never find out. Ever.

“That’s my shirt,” he says weakly. Donghyuck cracks open an eye before mumbling something incoherent and rolling over on his futon, going back to sleep. Jaemin inhales shakily, getting out of bed so he can get ready for work. He forces himself to push the image of Donghyuck wearing his shirt to sleep (!!!) out of his mind for the rest of the day, lest he make any mistakes at work and have scary old ladies yell at him… again.

When his shift ends, he finds Donghyuck waiting for him outside, leaning on the brick wall. He’s wearing another one of Jaemin’s shirts, and Jaemin’s brain short-circuits and he really, really doesn’t know how to react.

“Hey!” Donghyuck greets happily, skipping over to where Jaemin had been rendered motionless. “How was work?”

“Work was… work,” Jaemin replies, praying that his voice won’t betray him now. Not when he needs it most. “What did you do today?”

Donghyuck beams and grabs onto one of Jaemin’s hands, swinging their hands together. “I hung out with Mark and Jeno today,” he says, beginning to tell Jaemin about his day. This is Jaemin’s favorite part, if he’s being honest. The part where Donghyuck babbles on about everything he did while Jaemin was at work, not leaving a single detail out—Jaemin thinks he could listen to Donghyuck go on about his day forever.

“And then,” Donghyuck continues, “Mark dropped his juice all over Jeno’s shirt. You should’ve seen Jeno’s face. He looked like he wanted to kick Mark out of his house.”

“I’m surprised he didn’t,” Jaemin snickers. “Was auntie home?”

“Yup,” Donghyuck confirms. “That’s probably the only reason Mark was safe from Jeno’s wrath, to be honest.”

Jaemin hums in agreement. They arrive at the bus stop, and Jaemin groans when the schedule says that the next bus is fifteen minutes away. “Nooooo I want to go home,” he whines, leaning onto Donghyuck and burying his face into the crook of Donghyuck’s neck. Donghyuck tenses for a moment but relaxes quickly, allowing Jaemin to wrap his arms around Donghyuck so that he won’t fall.

“Was today tiring?” Donghyuck asks sympathetically, twisting a little so that he can run his fingers through Jaemin’s hair. Jaemin sighs contently and leans into the touch.

“It’s always tiring,” Jaemin mumbles, ignoring the way Donghyuck shivers when Jaemin’s breath hits his neck. “Old people get so angry about paper towels.”

Donghyuck laughs quietly. “I can imagine. At least you don’t work at a coffee shop, though. My cousin, Johnny, always complains about how some people order the most complicated drinks and yell at them if it isn’t ready in 30 seconds.”

“People like that should seriously work in customer service for a week,” Jaemin grumbles unhappily. “It should teach them some humility.”

“Amen,” Donghyuck agrees. He continues to play with Jaemin’s hair while they wait for the bus. “Hey, it looks like it’s going to rain.”

Jaemin frowns and looks up from where he had his face buried in the crook of Donghyuck’s neck, squinting at the sudden light. “Oh, it does.” The clouds are starting to turn grey, and if Jaemin strains his ears, he thinks he can hear the distant rumble of thunder. “Oh, shit. I don’t have an umbrella.”

The situation feels like déjà vu as Donghyuck and Jaemin both give each other slightly panicked looks.

“Do you think we’ll make it?” Donghyuck asks, eyes darting to the bus schedule to check how much longer they have to wait. Seven minutes. That’s not a good sign.

“Honestly? Probably not.” Jaemin sighs and slumps back into Donghyuck’s side, letting himself go into the hands of fate. “It looks like it’s going to start raining any second now.”

As soon as Jaemin finishes his sentence, he feels the first raindrop on the back of his neck. He yelps, jumping in shock, hand coming up to cup the back of his neck. Donghyuck makes a noise of surprise when a raindrop hits his nose, and before the two of them can even blink, the rain starts pouring down relentlessly, soaking them to the bone in a matter of seconds.

“Well,” Donghyuck says when the shock wears off. “So much for that, then. Let’s go find somewhere to take cover. I don’t want to get sick during the last few weeks of summer.”

He tugs at Jaemin’s hand so that they can find shelter, but Jaemin holds his ground, dragging Donghyuck back in front of him. When Donghyuck gives him a look filled with distrust, Jaemin can only beam happily, wrapping his arms around his soulmate’s waist once more.

“Hey, doesn’t this situation remind you of something?” he teases, leaning in a little bit. He revels in the way Donghyuck quite literally jumps, wrapping his arms tighter his waist so that Donghyuck can’t escape.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, you absolute menace,” Donghyuck hisses. “Let’s go,” he whines. “We’re going to get sick, and you’re absolutely miserable when you have a cold.”

Jaemin pouts. “You really don’t remember?” he prods, though he knows that Donghyuck is joking. “Think, Duckie.”

“What do you want from me, asshole.” Donghyuck pouts and stomps his foot in agitation, and Jaemin quite literally melts at how fucking cute Donghyuck can be sometimes.

“I can remind you,” Jaemin says, grinning as he takes a step back. He unwraps his arms from Donghyuck’s waist, inwardly chuckling at the confused expression on the other boy’s face. “Okay, let’s go!”

He grabs Donghyuck by the hand, and before he can react, Jaemin is already dragging him. The two of them make quite the scene, with one laughing wildly while the other shrieks indignantly. It’s reminiscent of the first time they truly hung out together alone—the first time Donghyuck had allowed himself a sliver of vulnerability to be shown in front of Jaemin.

This time, though, Jaemin isn’t going to let it end the same way.

“Na Jaemin,” Donghyuck screeches. “Have you lost your mind?”

Jaemin laughs even louder at that and comes to a stop, Donghyuck running into his back with a grunt. “Come on, Duckie.” Jaemin can’t keep the grin off his face. “Isn’t this what youth is all about?”

“You’re crazy,” Donghyuck declares, shivering and stepping closer into Jaemin’s personal bubble in an attempt to find a source of warmth. “You’re absolutely crazy, and if I get sick, I swear to God I will murder you.”

“And I’ll let you,” Jaemin declares. Donghyuck’s expression falters at that, and all he can do is stare at Jaemin with wide eyes as the taller boy wraps his arms around Donghyuck’s waist again. “I’d let you do that and so much more, Lee Donghyuck.”

The implications of his words seem to hit him like a truck and Donghyuck chokes on his breath, gasping because evidently, that’s the last thing he’s expected to come out of Jaemin’s mouth.

“So?” Jaemin continues, tilting his head. The grin is still on his face, and Jaemin doesn’t think he remembers how to stop smiling. “What do you say, Lee Donghyuck? Will you be mine?”

“I’ll kill you,” Donghyuck says, hitting Jaemin’s chest weakly. “You made me run in the rain for this? Something you could’ve done inside where we aren’t at risk of catching pneumonia?”

Jaemin laughs. “What were you expecting?” he asks Donghyuck, the happiness clear as day in his voice. “We’re not exactly the poster children for the most conventional, Hollywood romcom movie, are we?”

“No, we’re not,” Donghyuck agrees grudgingly.

“I’m still waiting for your answer,” Jaemin presses forward, leaning down so that Donghyuck can’t avoid his gaze. “Lee Donghyuck will you—”

He doesn’t get a chance to finish the question, because Donghyuck closes the rest of the gap, their lips meeting in the middle. Jaemin throws what’s left of his brain out the window, one hand coming up to cradle Donghyuck’s jaw, tilting his head a little so that Jaemin can deepen the kiss. Donghyuck brings his hands up to cup Jaemin’s cheeks, and Jaemin shivers a little because, shit, Donghyuck’s hands are cold.

“Your hands are cold,” Jaemin pulls back a little and murmurs against Donghyuck’s lips.

“Does that bother you?” Donghyuck whispers.

“No, not at all,” Jaemin says in a low voice before leaning down to kiss Donghyuck again. They’re probably going to get sick, but Jaemin doesn’t care. Not even the threat of the combined nagging of Jaehyun and Doyoung can make Jaemin pull away from Donghyuck, who clearly seems to share Jaemin’s sentiments from the way he steps forward to be even closer to Jaemin.

The rain continues to pour, and that’s definitely thunder that Jaemin hears now. When the wind starts to pick up and Donghyuck shivers, Jaemin decides that maybe they should continue this somewhere indoors, preferably on something that’s warm and fluffy (like his bed).

“We should go,” he pulls away regretfully. “You might actually get sick.”

“I told you,” Donghyuck sniffles, immediately switching back to Ultimate Brat Mode™ before Jaemin can even blink. “Carry me.”

“You’re crazy,” Jaemin hisses, but let’s Donghyuck jump onto his back anyways. They end up taking refuge at a nearby McDonald’s, walking in with water dripping all around them, earning the glares of every worker that’s on shift right now. To placate them (but also to make sure they don’t get kicked out), Jaemin buys a hot chocolate for Donghyuck to warm himself up and large fries for them to share.

Donghyuck thanks him while shivering, taking the hot chocolate. His teeth are chattering and Jaemin frowns, feeling guilty at having made him run through the rain like that.

“Wipe that guilty look off your face, Na,” Donghyuck says, taking small sips of the hot chocolate. “If I really didn’t want to run through the rain, I would’ve left your ass to rot on the sidewalk by yourself.”

“Still.” Jaemin looks at him sadly through his eyelashes. “What if you get sick?”

“Then you can take care of me,” Donghyuck beams, and Jaemin instantly melts. He opens his arms so that Donghyuck can cuddle up next to him and calls his brother, asking him to pick them up. “Dibs on showering first.”

“It’s my house,” Jaemin grumbles, but they both know that Jaemin will shove Donghyuck into the shower himself, anyways.

By the time Jaehyun picks them up and they get home, Donghyuck’s lips are starting to turn blue and Jaemin kind of wants to kick himself for thinking confessing and kissing in the damn rain would be a good idea. He gives Donghyuck the biggest, fluffiest towel he can find while also tossing some clothes to change into after he showers.

“This isn’t my shirt,” Donghyuck says through chattering teeth.

“Duckie, love, your lips are literally turning blue right now. I’m sorry I couldn’t be bothered to check who the shirt belongs to,” Jaemin deadpans. “Please get in the shower so that we can hurry up and cuddle so that you don’t get sick.”

Donghyuck can’t find any argument with that so he nods, closing the door and locking it. When Jaemin hears the shower turn on, he nods, satisfied, before stomping off and yelling at Jaehyun to let him know that Jaemin will be claiming his bathroom for a bit to shower.

“Don’t you dare, you demon,” Jaehyun hollers back, but Jaemin knows that he will be the winner of this outcome. Jaehyun is stuck downstairs helping Doyoung cook something warm so that neither of them die from hypothermia in the middle of summer, so what’s really stopping Jaemin from taking over his brother’s bathroom? Absolutely nothing.

He showers quickly, not bothering to dry his hair all the way and just rubbing it haphazardly with a towel. He pulls on an old t-shirt and basketball shorts, grabbing a blanket before padding back downstairs. “What’s for dinner?”

“Well, we were thinking about taking you and the rest of the kids out.” Doyoung gives Jaemin a stern look. “But you and Donghyuck just had to decide to be absolute morons and run through the storm like that.”

“Idiots,” Jaehyun mumbles under his breath. Jaemin sniffs but doesn’t rise to the bait. He will not stoop that low and argue with somebody who falls off their bed on a regular basis because of their alarm.

Jaemin hears the shower turn off upstairs and gets comfortable on the couch, draping the blanket over himself. He waits for Donghyuck to come downstairs so that they can eat, cuddle, and maybe watch a movie, but when Donghyuck doesn’t come down after twenty minutes, he frowns.

“I’m going to go check on Donghyuck,” Jaemin announces, throwing the blanket off of himself and padding back upstairs.

“Do you want us to bring the soup up to you guys?” Doyoung asks, grabbing Jaemin’s arm before he can go up the stairs.

Jaemin hums before shaking his head. “No, we’ll eat downstairs. He spilled juice on my bed last time, and I haven’t quite forgiven him for that yet.” There isn’t much Jaemin hates, but he refuses to let anyone eat on his bed—even Donghyuck.

Doyoung rolls his eyes. “So petty. You and Jaehyun really are brothers.” He shakes his head and lets go of Jaemin’s arm. “Let me know if he has a fever, okay? I brought medicine just in case.”

Every day Jaemin will wonder what in the world his brother did in his past life to end up with somebody as amazing as Doyoung. “Jaehyun hyung doesn’t deserve you,” Jaemin says seriously, scampering up the stairs with a yelp when Jaehyun makes a move to come after him.

“I’m going to throw out all your plushies,” Jaehyun barks, and Doyoung laughs, holding Jaehyun back and allowing Jaemin to escape.

He ignores the way his brother starts whining to Doyoung because, gross, and bursts into his bedroom, prepared to ask why Donghyuck isn’t coming downstairs. When he’s greeted with the sight of Donghyuck in a blanket burrito, shivering on his bed, Jaemin immediately scrambles over to wrap Donghyuck up in a hug.

“Why didn’t you tell me you were up here shivering?” Jaemin scolds, worry clouding his voice. He coaxes Donghyuck into unwrapping the blanket around him so that Jaemin can keep him warm instead. “Christ, you’re freezing. Shit, Duckie, I’m so sorry.”

“Not your fault,” Donghyuck mumbles, burying his face into Jaemin’s chest. He lets out a sigh of relief, and Jaemin’s never been so glad that his body temperature seems to run higher than most people on a regular basis. “You’re so warm. Can we take a nap before we eat?”

Jaemin drops a kiss on the crown of Donghyuck’s hair. “Of course. I’ll wake you up in a bit, okay?”

“Okay,” Donghyuck replies sleepily, and it isn’t long before he drifts off to sleep. Jaemin allows himself to watch for a bit longer, admiring every single thing about Donghyuck’s features, before he feels the hands of sleep coming over to cover his eyes as well.

“Goodnight, Duckie,” Jaemin mumbles, pressing one last kiss onto Donghyuck’s forehead and succumbing to sleep as well. Jaemin feels so, _so_ content with Donghyuck in his arms, and he hopes that the warmth and love he feels inside his chest will stay for a long time.

Fate had played a lot of cruel tricks this past school year, Jaemin thinks, but in the end, he thinks the curveballs had been worth it. Jaemin’s always been a romantic at heart, and in Jaemin’s humble opinion, he thinks his and Donghyuck’s love story could probably rival the cheesy romcoms that Hollywood likes to churn out every year.

 _Lee Donghyuck_.

That’s the name etched on Jaemin’s wrist, and every night he will go to sleep with the very person in his arms. The universe had decided that he and Donghyuck would be the perfect match each other, and although Jaemin had doubted that in the beginning, he knows that the forces of fate clearly knew what they were doing, and who is Jaemin to fight the forces of fate, anyways?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and that's a wrap! thank you for taking time out of your days to read this fic of mine! it truly has been an adventure writing this, with thousands of rewrites and scrapping the last half right before submissions haha............ 
> 
> on to my thank you notes:  
> firstly, i'd like to thank my beta, mal, for reading through the mess of a fic this was and helping me make it more coherent :') thank you for listening to me just,, ramble on and on in your dm and taking me on as one of your writers at the last minute!!!!! i definitely would not have made it this far without u. u r the best and i love u.
> 
> secondly, i'd like to thank admin tea for working hard to host the fest!!!!! i hope u are getting lots and lots of rest now and we love u, tea!!!!!! <3
> 
> lastly, thank you to everyone i've met during the duration of the fest :') a lot has truly happened (though most of it wasn't... actual writing) and i'm so glad to have met everyone!! hehe
> 
> once again, thank you for reading my fic!! pls let me know what u thought in the comments xx
> 
> (rise nahyuck rise.)


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